How Do You Feel About Circumcision?

I am Jewish. Well, born Jewish. Athiest now.

My sisters unfortunately, still follow the voodoo, and one of my brothers in law grew up pretty observant.

When my first nephew was born, they asked me to be the Godfather. The mohel (Jewish voodoo priest of some sort who does circumcisions) shows up and they tell me as Godfather, I have to hold him while they circumsize him. I said no way. I didn't even want to be in the room.

I am not sure how I feel about circumcision itself, but I do find the bris to be barbaric. It's one thing to do the deed, it's another thing to invite everyone over and have a party! I mean you get every disgusting, old distant Jewish relative you never otherwise see. And they are all there stuffing their faces with bagels and lox (and there is always the old senile, third uncle removed, who chews cream cheese with his mouth open) while the poor little thing has no idea what is coming. I find the whole ritual just barbaric.

 

One other story. ... I think I have told it on here before. When one of my other nephews was born, we were all standing around waiting for the mohel to show up and it is getting later and later past when he was supposed to be there.

Finally, my brother in law pulls me aside and discreetly tells me the mohel has had a car accident, and asks me if I will drive over to where he is and pick him up.

I get there and the mohel is totally unhinged. His car is wrecked and he's arguing with the guy he had the accident with, and he is getting more and more upset. We finally clear the whole thing with the police, and I get him in the car to take him to my sister's house. And he is still ranting and raving and is just short of foaming at the mouth.

And all I can think about is that this guy is going to be putting a knife to my nephew's pecker in a couple of minutes.

So I am trying to be as calm as possible and calm him down. "These things happen. It's no big deal. Isn't the weather beautiful? How about them Yankees?"

The bris went off fine. I found out afterward, though, that this guy had cornered the mohel business in the tri-state area. So every weekend, he was doing a dozen or more of these things, and he was zipping around between New York, New Jersey and Connecticut trying to make appointments on time.

It kind of explained the accident, I guess.

The guy actually had an 800 number, as in 1-800-4AMOHEL.

 

Is that supposed to sway us?