How do you fall out of love...

It's like you didn't even read a word I posted.

 

I can say that sleeping with two of her friends makes it easier for all involved to get comfortable with some distance.

 

It hurts, a lot. But you have to pull away, for a while, and let the pain and heartache wash out. What's important is your happiness, in the long run, and if this guy can't, or won't, commit, then you need to find someone who will. And I have no doubt you will.

 

I wanna be your rebound, baby.

 

see, that's funny.

 

Ah, sweet, sweet rebound.

 

You can't be friends, IJAG. At least not for a while.

 

You can't be friends for a long while. You will interpret the smallest thing and turn it in to hope.

 

That is a fair point, and there are so many other little things.

What happens when you meet somebody else? If you are still in love with the friend and spending large amounts of time with him, it is incredibly difficult, if not impossible, to have a decent relationship with anybody else.

What happens when he meets somebody else? Even worse, what if he is insensitive enough to try to talk to you about her? How can you even respond without wondering whether you are letting your own feelings and desires get in the way (Yeah, this story is definitely bringing back memories for me).

At some point, whether this guy really is relationship-phobic now or not, he's going to get past that and there is no possible way you are going to feel anything but horrible about it.

I recently went with my wife to see Greg Behrendt's stand-up routine. If you've never heard of him, he's the guy who co-wrote "He's Just Not That Into You." I never read the book and the movie looked stupid, but when you hear him speak, he has a point.

IJAG, maybe it's time to take the title of his book to heart, stop making excuses for your friend and go from there. It's harsh, but it's healthier than this. And I say that as somebody who did to himself exactly what you are doing to yourself. Hell, I even did it more than once, though one of them really wasn't even much of a friend now that I look back on it with proper perspective.

Sorry to go crazy with the advice. Maybe all you really wanted here was some understanding and a place to talk. But I'm a guy. Most of us suck at just listening rather than trying to do something or suggest something.

 

oop: you have no idea how true your last line was.

Anyway, Christ, apparently I stink at explaining myself. he hasn't done anything wrong. I haven't done anything wrong. We tried it, but not fully, and it didn't work out. I'm just trying to figure out how to not talk to someone who's been an integral part of my daily life for 2 1/2 years.

I haven't spoken to him since Saturday. Which I know doesn't seem like long, but trust me...one day at a time.

 

Why don't you try doing something wrong for a change? Might work out for you.

 

This might or might not be of any help:

From: http://www2.ljworld.com/news/2009/jul/27/put-love-affair-rest-penning-its-obituary/