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Houston Rockets Marketing Ploys

Discussion in 'Writers' Workshop' started by drapg, Feb 26, 2008.

  1. drapg

    drapg New Member

    Hello all. I'm new to the board and an aspiring sports journalist. In fact I just resigned from my position in accounting to pursue my (longshot) dream to become a sports journalist. I'm writing for the Houstonist for free to get some exposure. Below are two editorial pieces about the Rockets and their marketing ploys.

    I hope I'm doing this correctly. If I'm not, or if I'm breaking some sort of known etiquette (as a newbie to this board) please let me know.

    Thanks!



    Yes it's Ladies' Night! Or is it?

    Let’s say, hypothetically, Houston was home to a fledgling basketball team struggling to maintain a .500 record. Let’s also say that this team, hypothetically of course, was playing host on a Tuesday night to a middle-of-the-pack franchise hailing from the Napa Valley region. Let’s also say that this hypothetical Tuesday night was to occur in late January, when temperatures are historically cold enough to warrant multiple layers of clothing – which in Texas is often a cause for panic.

    How exactly would this team draw fans out of their centrally heated homes located in posh suburbs and into uncomfortable metal chairs furnishing a downtown arena?

    LADIES’ NIGHT OUT!!!!!

    That’s right. What better way to pack the stands then to host a Ladies’ Night Out at the Toyota Center on January 29 when the hometown Houston Rockets host the Golden State Warriors.

    And what screams ladylike more than two hot dogs, two beers, and two commemorative t-shirts all for the special low, low price of $52.

    We know when we take our “special lady” out for a night on the town – her first choice for a meal is always to partake in the fine dining available at James Coney Island, followed by imbibing at Big Woodrow’s.

    If you can’t currently detect the sarcasm oozing from your screen, well, may we suggest taking that funny bone into your doctor for a little checkup?

    Yes, we understand it’s a difficult task to attract fans on a Tuesday night in January for a meaningless basketball game in the dog days of winter. However, perhaps a little more thought should be put into such marketing concepts before actual deployment?

    Hot dogs?

    Beer?

    Ladies’ Night Out?

    We took a brief poll of ladies at a local bar last night and found a host of alternatives to be more attractive offers that could potentially entice a female to attend a basketball game over pork on a bun and a side of fermented barley. Examples include a box of imported chocolates, diamond earrings, spa packages, and a Magic Wand (who knew so many women in Houston were into sorcery??!?!!!?)

    Nevertheless, we’re happy to report back to the Rockets marketing staff that the ladies of Houston were extremely happy with the choice of Shane Battier as the eye candy du jour for the advertisement for Ladies’ Night Out. In the words of one, possibly inebriated, female we bumped into last night, “Whoooooo Shane!!!!!!”

    Sorry Yao.





    Houston Rockets: Guys Night Out

    You know what they say, what’s good for the goose is good for the gander.

    That certainly seems to be the case for the Houston Rockets.

    Local hoops fans will recall that the Rockets’ marketing staff attempted to appeal to the gentler sex a month back through the use of a Ladies Night Out gimmick. Well those wacky folks are at it again, and this time they’re seeking out a few good men.

    For the same price as that offered to the women (wasn’t that part of the Equal Rights Amendment?), red-blooded males from all parts of the Bayou City can partake in Guys Night Out at the Toyota Center, as the Rockets take on the Washington Wizards tomorrow evening. But that’s where the similarities cease.

    Instead of being treated to commemorative t-shirts (like the ladies), the men will collect souvenir pint glasses. To add to the differences, instead of receiving two regular hot dogs, the chaps will bestowed with two Big Dawg hot dogs. The difference? About twice the meat (you can insert your own joke here). Apparently the Rockets front office doesn’t believe that the women of Houston can eat quite like their gentlemanly counterparts. Now we know that has to be in direct violation of the ERA!

    Nevertheless, we feel that the Rockets are not in tune with the men of Houston, just as we previously found that the franchise did not know what women want. Rather than electrocuting ourselves with a hair dryer and a tub filled with water like Mel Gibson did to solve the latter problem, we decided to conduct a telephone survey of our buddies to find out how they could be enticed into making the trek out to the Toyota Center tomorrow night.

    From our pal Sam, “Dude, they’re on a 12-game winning streak. I’ve already got tickets to go with some friends! I’m psyched to see the Rockets play tomorrow night. Oh, hey. .. do you wanna go with us?”

    From our boy BL, “Guys Night Out? Is that some kind of sexual reference? I’m not interested.” After a brief explanation, our friend sang a different tune. “Oh, the Rockets. Yeah, I was going to go tomorrow night and buy tickets at the box office. You wanna come?” (Oh the irony!)

    From our comrade Sean, “I was planning to watch the game on TV because I have to wake up early on Wednesday morning. I’m not missing it for the world!”

    So what did we learn from that admittedly small sample size? Besides the fact that 66.7% of our "friends" forgot about us when making plans to see the Rockets tomorrow night, it seems that the men of Houston don’t need a ploy to grab their attention and attract them out to the arena. That, ladies and gentlemen, is where the absurdity of this marketing stunt comes into play. Sure, using a ruse to get more butts in the seats when the Rockets were an afterthought in the Western Conference back in January was one thing. But the hometown heroes currently find themselves in the midst of an epic winning streak and are the hottest team in the NBA. Ultimately, that is all it takes to get the men of Houston to flood the Toyota Center.

    It’s a basic tenet that has pervaded sports since the dawn of time. A winning ballclub equals a packed house, and no wiener (no matter how large) will change that. It’s really that simple.

    Now what isn’t simple is which buddy we’re going to tag along with to catch tomorrow’s match up!
     
  2. Stitch

    Stitch Active Member

    If you want to break in the biz, stick with straight news. If you want to be a serious sports reporter, you need to learn how to report. That mean's freelancing for local papers instead of blogging.

    Also, eho is the we you keep referring to?
     
  3. drapg

    drapg New Member

    Thanks for the response. The "we" is the "houstonist.com" web site. The editor told me that all articles are written in a collective "we"/"us" point of view (rather than "I" or "me")
     
  4. Stitch

    Stitch Active Member

    Refrain from using I, me, you, us, we for an opinion piece. I guess that's what this site wants, but you won't be writing columns for a while if you want to become a sports writer.
     
  5. drapg

    drapg New Member

    Thanks for the feedback. To provide an example, here is some work on the recent Rockets trades - written as a "column piece"




    Rockets trade for Gerald Green

    Houston Rockets General Manager Daryl Morey may have been the busiest man not involved in a presidential election over the past two days. Less than 24 hours after trading Bonzi Wells and Mike James to the New Orleans Hornets, Morey was at it again. In what can only be dubbed as a swap of malcontents, the Rockets shipped Kirk Snyder and a 2nd round draft pick off to the Minnesota Timberwolves in exchange for hometown Houston high school legend Gerald Green just moments before the expiration of the NBA’s trade deadline.

    Last week Snyder, who has only appeared in nine games this season, told Rockets management, through his agent, that he would welcome a trade to a team where he could earn more playing time. Stopping just short of demanding a deal, Snyder’s representatives expressed their client’s displeasure over his lack of opportunities to exhibit his talents to other teams due to his inability to crack Rockets head coach Rick Adelman’s rotation. With the 24-year old due to be a free agent this summer, Snyder knew he needed a chance to showcase his basketball aptitude in order to latch on to a team next season. The former Nevado-Reno standout has averaged only nine minutes per game this season, and appeared to be of little value in the Rockets’ playoff push. A deal seemed both imminent and beneficial to both parties.

    Meanwhile in the Land of 10,000 Lakes Green’s agent, Bryon Irvin, requested a trade for his client in early January after the Timberwolves declined his client's contract option for next season, thus making him an unrestricted free agent this summer. Green and his representatives started to worry after the Minnesota General Manager Kevin McHale bypassed the opportunity to sign the former Gulf Shores Academy standout to the fourth year option of his rookie contract next season. Immediately, the 22-year old Green questioned whether he was a part of the Timberwolves’ long term rebuilding plan along with other young cogs such as Al Jefferson, Corey Brewer, and Randy Foye. Having averaged only 12.3 minutes per game in 29 appearances this season, the writing was on the wall for the 2007 NBA Slam Dunk champion, who finds himself being dealt for the second time in his short career. Last summer Green was part of the mammoth swap that landed former MVP Kevin Garnett in Boston.

    The exchange appears to be a low-risk proposition for both the Rockets and the Timberwolves. Because Snyder was seemingly deemed to be expendable from day one and received rare bouts of playing time this season, the Rockets could only expect very little in return. The fact that Green was unable to see the court on one of the worst squads in the NBA is a telling sign that the Rockets got exactly what they should have anticipated, that is to say very little. Essentially, the trade was a swap of undesirables for both teams, with both players able to walk at season’s end. The saving grace for the Rockets is the fact that Green hails from the streets of Houston and has long desired to return home, which should prove to be a popular notion to Houston fans still steaming over the Rockets having passed up another homegrown high school legend who desired to play in the Bayou City (Rashard Lewis) in the NBA Draft several years back. Furthermore, if nothing else Green is the epitome of the terms raw talent and athletic ability after winning the NBA Slam Dunk competition last season and earning second place this year with his cupcake dunk.

    With the Timberwolves going nowhere, they had little to gain and little to lose from the deal. By letting go of Green, Minnesota ostensibly announced that he did not have the makings of a quality NBA player – given the fact that he couldn’t crack the rotation of an 11-41 team ranked dead last in the Western Conference. With the Rockets in a playoff stretch run and having no use for Snyder, the team has essentially rented the services of the hometown kid over the next three months as they take him for a “test drive” to determine if he could provide any value to the franchise next year. Worst case scenario for Houston is that the team deems Green to be of little worth and lets him walk at season's end, having given up nothing of significance in exchange for the brief window shopping experience of a young athlete filled with endless promise.




    Rockets trade for Bobby Jackson

    In a classic case of keeping up with the Joneses the Houston Rockets executed a player swap late last night with less than 24 hours before the expiration of the NBA’s trade deadline. As their Western Conference cohorts have made headlines over the last three weeks with the acquisitions of All-Star talent such as Shaquille O’Neal (Suns), Jason Kidd (Mavericks), and Pau Gasol (Lakers), the Houston Rockets found their crusade to climb in the playoff standings becoming that much more difficult. Therefore in order to keep up with the ever-changing landscape of the West, Rockets General Manager Daryl Morey made a deal of his own, though not quite on the league-shattering level as his foes. Houston sent forward Bonzi Wells and guard Mike James to the New Orleans Hornets in return for point guard Bobby Jackson, rookie guard Adam Haluska, and the higher of New Orleans’ two second-round picks in the 2008 NBA Draft (one of which previously belonged to the Rockets and was given to the Hornets in a trade last year to acquire Carl Landry).

    The Rockets’ spin on the transaction will likely be that the team has now solidified its point guard position with a veteran presence behind starter Rafer Alston to go along with rookie Aaron Brooks. The 35-year old Jackson is in his 11th season in the NBA and spent five of those years with the Sacramento Kings playing under the tutelage of current Houston head coach Rick Adelman. Coming off of the bench in New Orleans, Jackson has averaged 7.1 points and 1.7 assists per game while shooting 39.2% from the field and 36.8% from long distance. Playing only 19.4 minutes per outing with the Hornets Jackson proved to be of little value as a backup to superstar Chris Paul and therefore was expendable to the Western Conference’s top team.

    Houston is expected to use Jackson’s knowledge of Adelman’s offense and his veteran presence to their advantage, especially in the fourth quarter of tight games, for the duration of the season. Furthermore because of the Rockets’ recent string of failures in the playoffs over the last few years, the team will likely rely heavily on Jackson’s vast experience from past Western Conference postseason battles. Basketball fans will recall that Jackson was in the trenches of many a playoff war while suiting up for Sacramento from 2000-2003.

    Despite the trade’s outward advantages for Houston, there exists a great downside as well. Firstly the Rockets are currently in the midst of a nine-game winning streak, and one must question the reasoning behind altering the great success and chemistry that has been achieved over the last two months. Furthermore, Houston will miss Wells’ hustle and energy in the fourth quarter of close games. Since the turn of the new year Wells has transformed into just the spark off of the bench that Houston has long needed to finish up tight hardwood showdowns. The former malcontent has seemingly altered his ways and provided the defense, hustle, scoring, and weakside rebounding to support Yao Ming in the post on many an evening. With his departure the Rockets appear to be satisfied with letting a relatively unknown commodity in rookie 2nd round draft pick Carl Landry have the opportunity to fulfill that function.

    In addition to the positives and negatives of the trade in a pure basketball sense, the examination of the bottom line impact of the swap proves to be extremely relevant to the conversation at hand. Fiscally speaking the trade swings the balance of favor in Houston’s direction. The Rockets were able to unload the next two years and $12.7 million of James’ contract, while in contrast receiving Jackson's $6.1 million deal which expires at the end of next season. By making the deal Houston will have significant cap flexibility next year because of the NBA's love affair with expiring deals. More specifically, the Rockets will have the ability to dangle a large, expiring contract in exchange for better assets at this time next year (See the aforementioned Pau Gasol trade for reference). Furthermore the exchange has placed the Rockets under the luxury tax threshold, thereby giving the team an opportunity to make another move by the 2:00pm CST trade deadline today. Rumors abound that a deal might be in the works for Houston to acquire Sacramento’s Ron Artest. Nevertheless, should the franchise choose to stand pat with its current roster for the remainder of the season, there will be a lot of pressure on Jackson to provide veteran leadership in the stretch run and on Landry to fill the large hole left by the loss of Wells.
     
  6. verbalkint

    verbalkint Member

    drapg- Thanks for posting. My edits are in caps, with notes at the end.


    Rockets trade for Gerald Green

    Houston Rockets General Manager Daryl Morey may have been the busiest man not involved in a presidential election over the past two days. (IN THE LEAD, I SEE NO PROBLEM INTRODUCING HIM AS "DARYL MORLEY." WITH THIS SENTENCE, I HAVE TO GET THROUGH SIX WORDS BEFORE I READ THE PHRASE "MAY HAVE BEEN," WHICH IS ITSELF A BIT WEAK. JUST START WITH HIS NAME, AND GIVE HIS TITLE IN THE SECOND SENTENCE.) Less than 24 hours after trading Bonzi Wells and Mike James to the New Orleans Hornets, Morey was at it again. In what can only be dubbed as a swap of malcontents, the Rockets shipped Kirk Snyder and a 2nd round draft pick off to the Minnesota Timberwolves in exchange for hometown Houston high school legend Gerald Green just moments before the expiration of the NBA’s trade deadline. (MIGHT WANT TO INCLUDE WHAT YEAR THE PICK IS FOR.)

    Last week Snyder, who has only appeared in nine games this season, told Rockets management, through his agent, that he would welcome a trade to a team where he could earn more playing time. (I KNOW THE "THROUGH HIS AGENT" PHRASE IS FOR EFFECT, BUT THIS IS A FOUR-COMMA SENTENCE. GET RID OF ONE OR TWO.) Stopping just short of demanding a deal, Snyder’s representatives expressed their client’s displeasure over his lack of opportunities to exhibit his talents to other teams due to his inability to crack Rockets head coach Rick Adelman’s rotation. With the 24-year old due to be a free agent this summer, Snyder knew he needed a chance to showcase his basketball aptitude in order to latch on to a team next season. The former Nevado(NEVADA)-Reno standout has averaged only nine minutes per game this season, and appeared to be of little value in the Rockets’ playoff push. (I THINK 9MPG IS LESS TELLING THAN THE FACT THAT HE'S APPEARED IN ONLY 9 GAMES. MAYBE INCLUDE IF IT WAS TRENDING DOWN OR UP RECENTLY, OR NOT AT ALL.) A deal seemed both imminent and beneficial to both parties.

    Meanwhile in the Land of 10,000 Lakes Green’s agent, Bryon Irvin, requested a trade for his client in early January after the Timberwolves declined his client's contract option for next season, thus making him an unrestricted free agent this summer. Green and his representatives started to worry after the Minnesota General Manager Kevin McHale bypassed the opportunity to sign the former Gulf Shores Academy standout to the fourth year option of his rookie contract next season. (YOU'RE MISSING A CHANCE TO TAKE A SHOT AT MCHALE, BUT THAT'S YOUR CHOICE.) Immediately, the 22-year old Green questioned whether he was a part of the Timberwolves’ long term rebuilding plan along with other young cogs such as Al Jefferson, Corey Brewer, and Randy Foye. (DID HE QUESTION IT? OR ARE YOU PROJECTING THAT? IF HE DID, REPORT IT WITH HIS WORDS. IF HE DIDN'T, JUST SAY, "IT WAS QUESTIONABLE.") Having averaged only 12.3 minutes per game in 29 appearances this season, the writing was on the wall for the 2007 NBA Slam Dunk champion, who finds himself being dealt for the second time in his short career. ("HAVING AVERAGED" AND "FINDS HIMSELF BEING DEALT" ARE WEAK.) Last summer Green was part of the mammoth swap that landed former MVP Kevin Garnett in Boston.

    The exchange appears to be a low-risk proposition for both the Rockets and the Timberwolves. Because Snyder was seemingly deemed to be expendable from day one and received rare bouts of playing time this season, the Rockets could only expect very little in return. ("SEEMINGLY DEEMED" REMINDS ME OF "HAVING AVERAGED.") The fact that Green was unable to see the court on one of the worst squads in the NBA is a telling sign that the Rockets got exactly what they should have anticipated, that is to say very little. ("UNABLE TO SEE THE COURT" IS WORDY.) Essentially, the trade was a swap of undesirables for both teams, with both players able to walk at season’s end. The saving grace for the Rockets is the fact that Green hails from the streets of Houston (CAREFUL - THE PHRASE "FROM THE STREETS" CAN HAVE NEGATIVE CONOTATION -- I'D JUST SAY HE GREW UP IN __ NEIGHBORHOOD) and has long desired to return home, which should prove to be a popular notion to Houston fans still steaming over the Rockets having passed up another homegrown high school legend who desired to play in the Bayou City (Rashard Lewis) in the NBA Draft several years back. (AGAIN, "HAVING PASSED.") Furthermore, if nothing else Green is the epitome of the terms raw talent and athletic ability after winning the NBA Slam Dunk competition last season and earning second place this year with his cupcake dunk.

    With the Timberwolves going nowhere, they had little to gain and little to lose from the deal. By letting go of Green, Minnesota ostensibly announced that he did not have the makings of a quality NBA player – given the fact that he couldn’t crack the rotation of an 11-41 team ranked dead last in the Western Conference. (YOU'VE ALREADY MADE THE POINT THAT THEY SUCK AND HE WASN'T PLAYING. MAKE THOSE TWO SENTECES INTO ONE.) With the Rockets in a playoff stretch run and having no use for Snyder, the team has essentially rented the services of the hometown kid over the next three months as they take him for a “test drive” to determine if he could provide any value to the franchise next year. Worst case scenario for Houston is that the team deems Green to be of little worth and lets him walk at season's end, having given up nothing of significance in exchange for the brief window shopping experience of a young athlete filled with endless promise. (BEST CASE SCENARIO?)


    --

    Okay, drapg, here are my suggestions.

    Obviously you're a smart fellow. (You being a former accountant, I'm happy to report that it was not entirely loaded with numbers.) So I'll be looking at style and clarity.

    There are a few pieces in your writing that I'm stumbling over. Here are a few phrases that stuck out to me.

    - "representatives expressed their client’s displeasure over his lack of opportunities to exhibit his talents to other teams due to his inability"
    - "showcase his basketball aptitude"
    - "exchange appears to be a low-risk proposition"

    Here's the thing. You're smarter than me, and I can live with that. But I want you to prove that with what you write, not the words you use to write it. in that first example, you've got three five syllable words, which is two or three too many for a sports column. I feel like I'm wading through some of it. I understand you came from the business world, and -- I'm too lazy to look at the website right now -- you may still be writing for a mostly business audience. But, with Woody Paige setting the low bar, no one is going to deem your sports column unprofessional or inconsequential if you use colloquial language. (See, that's two five-syllable words, and it sounded silly, right?)

    In a columnist I want big ideas, not big words. "Use to form" instead of "utilize to formulate," that kind of thing. I know you want to avoid cliches, but you also want people not to feel like they're reading a textbook. And even if you are writing for a business audience, I'd assume sports is where they go to get AWAY from that kind of formal writing. (I'll bet they like Tom Friedman more than a thesaurus-fueled theorist.) Good columnists say more with fewer words, fewer syllables even, and you don't even feel like you're reading.

    Ultimately this column feels like smart writing and good observation with no pulse. (Could you use the cupcake as a theme? Could you cite examples of Green's potential, or high school exploits?)

    If it seems I'm being harsh, it's because I can see you've got potential to be damn good. One of the things you've already got down is how to dispense information. "Former Gulf Shores Academy standout" and "With the 24-year old" are phrases where you've snuck in details that a bad writer would waste an entire sentence on.

    Comparing these two is a smart angle for a column. I wish you'd explored a bit more the idea that these are two young players, highly-touted on their way into the league, who are looking at expiring contracts and seem to be unwanted. What went wrong? Is it a good idea for a young kid with attitude problems to be back with his high school buddies? Or are there good influences? Do you think it will work for the Rockets? You're a columnist. Don't be afraid to write your opinion.

    My last thought is to read your column yourself before you send it in. Ask, "Are there places here where I'm writing a lot but not saying much?" and "What am I trying to say with this piece?"

    Good work, and thanks for posting. Feel free to come back with more work down the road.
     
  7. friend of the friendless

    friend of the friendless Active Member

    Mr drapg,

    Any particular reason for the reference to the presidential election? You reach so far to put in so high and it's a speed bump that you hit just when you're getting to your story. Maybe if you were to get a few more references in but I doubt that you or anyone could make it work. And the fact is that other NBA general managers and the Mavericks capologist were working as hard as Morey, Barack, John and Hil.

    YD&OHS, etc
     
  8. drapg

    drapg New Member

    Thanks so much for the feedback y'all (yeah, I'm from Texas and I say y'all)

    This kind of feedback is exactly what I'm looking for - you guys are great!
     
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