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Hot dogs for homophobes: Conan's funniest bit yet?

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by BYH, Jul 14, 2006.

  1. BYH

    BYH Active Member

    This made me laugh something fierce. I hope someone else saw this..."Hot dogs for homophobes," where instead of eating hot dogs that look like schlongs guys eat hot dogs that are shaped like a woman's breast.

  2. dooley_womack1

    dooley_womack1 Well-Known Member

    My foot itches.
  3. Grohl

    Grohl Guest

    Not even close to his funniest bit, but excellent. The monkey was wearing an anti-gay t-shirt! And the two guys were wrestling at the end of it! ;D

    David Lee Roth is awful.
  4. BYH

    BYH Active Member

    Yeah, not his funniest bit yet. But it was the first time in a while he's had me howling in laughter.

    Best ever is still Triumph vs. Star Wars or Norm MacDonald cracking on Courtney Thorne-Smith.
  5. dooley_womack1

    dooley_womack1 Well-Known Member

    That Star Wars one, and the ones he does from the dog show are awesome. And my foot still itches. :-\
  6. Grohl

    Grohl Guest

    Conan has had so many great bits over the years, it's hard to pick a favorite. I've watched his show from the very beginning, and one of the first great ones that sticks out in my head was when Andy testified in the Bobbit trial.
  7. BYH

    BYH Active Member

    Dooley, do you have athlete's foot?
  8. dooley_womack1

    dooley_womack1 Well-Known Member

    Well, I do walk a lot.
  9. BYH

    BYH Active Member

    I think you're just an attention whore.
  10. dooley_womack1

    dooley_womack1 Well-Known Member

    Not me. No way can I do that handstand.
  11. Dedo

    Dedo Member

    Every time Norm has ever been on Conan's show, it's been comedy gold. There are actually transcripts (and in many cases, audio files) of all those appearances here: http://www.fakenews.net/archive/index.html

    The Norm/Courtney Thorne-Smith audio is at: http://www.fakenews.net/archive/transcripts/a/1997_05_conan_a.ram

    And the high points of the transcript:

    COURTNEY: I MADE a movie with Carrot Top.

    CONAN: You made a movie with Carrot Top, it's not out yet.

    NORM: [Interrupting.] Wait a minute! She left "Melrose Place" to do a movie with Carrot Top?[Laughter.]

    CONAN: That's where I'm going, my friend. [To Courtney.] This begs the question now, "Why a movie with carrot Top?"

    COURTNEY: Why a movie with Carrot Top?

    CONAN: Do you have a scene where you and he embrace?

    COURTNEY: Yeah, lots of making out.

    CONAN: [Disgusted.] Oh, for God's sake. [Laughter.]

    COURTNEY: Nothing but making out. It's like "9 and 1/2 Weeks," but Carrot Top -- basically is what we were doing. [Laughter.]

    CONAN: [Laughing.] Wow! I've got to check out that movie.

    NORM: Is it called "9 and 1/2 Seconds?" [Applause.] -- Like he's a premature ejaculator -- [Applause.]

    CONAN: [Laughs.] You know what happened? This is what happened, he said "9 and 1/2 Seconds" and I'm looking at him, cause I know there's more. Then I wait and wait, then I see the glimmer in the eye and BANG! I thought you were going to "crackwhore, dirty sex," but no -- [Laughter.]

    CONAN: [To Courtney.] What's the movie going to be called?

    NORM: [Interrupting.] I know what it's going to be called! [Laughter.]

    CONAN: Yeah? What's that?

    NORM: If it's got Carrot Top in it, you know what a good name for it would be?

    CONAN: What's that, Norm?

    NORM: "BOX OFFICE POISON!" [Applause.]

    COURTNEY: [A little upset.] I'm in it, too! Come on! What about my career?

    CONAN: SHE'S in it! Courtney Thorne-Smith, the girl sitting to your left, is IN THE MOVIE!

    NORM: -- I'm going to go see it for Courtney. [Applause.]

    COURTNEY: After you scare everyone else away?

    NORM: No, I love this girl. I would go see ANY movie with this girl in it. She's a beautiful lady -- and a talented, nice -- talk show guest. [Applause.]

    CONAN: All right, there's this 2 hour finale of "Melrose Place." There's this movie coming out, title undetermined at this point --

    COURTNEY: "Chairman of the Board."

    CONAN: Oh, all right. [To Norm.] Do something with that, you freak. [Laughter.]

    NORM: I bet the "Board" is spelled B-O-R-E-D ! [Huge laughter, applause.]
  12. BYH

    BYH Active Member

    Thanks for posting that again. Never gets old.

    Now that I think about it, that's the funniest thing I've ever seen on broadcast TV. Triumph is fucking gold too, but this was clearly improv at its finest.

    Didn't Conan basicalliy fall off his chair laughing so hard at not only the "Box Office Poison" line but also the B-O-R-E-D line?
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