Here's to you ... A toast

Fuck 16 ouncers (the original tall boys), fuck 24 ouncers (the homeless tall boys), hail the original and best: 40 ouncers. Preferably Milwaukee's Best. Or Schlitz Malt Liquor.

 

Fuckabuncha fo'ties. The beer gets piss-warm in the bottle while you're drinking it.

I used to be a big fan of Miller Ponies (8 oz.) ... that is, until I became a beer snob.

 

I can honestly say that for a woman, the size doesn't matter. But natural definitely is better than fake, and that includes those friggin' inserts. Be proud of what you've got. It'll work for me, I promise.

 

40s are for malt liquor, NOT beer.

Energy drinks are getting away from the Red Bull 8-oz. cans and going to the 16-oz. tallboys. They still taste like liquified pigeon anus.

 

Yeah, I lied. I'm obsessed. I need to go to Boobaholics Anonymous at least twice a week.

 

This did not begin well.

 

Stop nursing that shit.

And if you're going 40s, gotta be OE 800.