Here's 1 reason why I won't read your drivel

Seems to be a Gannett initiative, where every other story must have a headline that includes "5 reasons why ..." "3 things to watch ..." or "7 signs that ..."

I realize many of those reporters - most in sports - are too busy building their hilarious social media brands to learn how to write a compelling headline, but damn. Enough already.

 

It's an SEO thing as much as anything.

 

You might not like it but it is a proven successful strategy.

 

"(Random Shooting):" 5 losers and one winner.....

 

Don't you know? Gannett fired most of its copy editors.

 

It's even worse. Sometimes these heads say something like, "This player will be the difference-maker for State U."

Who, dammit!

Almost all heads come to our publishing center reading this way (as they go online first). Our copy editors are supposed to change them to more print-friendly heads . . . but often do not. It's maddening.

 

I can't get mad about clickbait headlines anymore. They've been around 10+ years. If you're dumb enough to continue to fall for them, well that's about you, not the headline.

 

Pretty much formula. Run a picture similar to Doc Holliday's avatar with the words, "You won't believe what happened next! The cameras NEVER STOPPED ROLLING!"

Actually, you will believe what happens next:

1. Tons of pop-up ads.
2. A stupid top-20 list you have to click through to reach No. 1.
3. No hot pictures of celebrity babes. Thanks for helping some skeezy company's click count.

 

Columbia, S.C. pulled a nice double click-bait today (not to mention a period where a comma should be, separating two clauses):

"His position suddenly hit by injuries. This Gamecock is in position to step up"

Making us guess at the position AND the player.

 

"Five things" game stories and advances had become the norm toward the end of my tour of duty at my previous shop. But as often as not, they'd be sent to us (even after a first read by the newsroom liaison teams) labeled as "five things," but actually with four things, or six things. It often forced us to change the design to accommodate a short story or do some major hacking on a long story, along with correcting the fact error.

 

I always wince when a paper I'm doing covers 2 teams, leaving me with side-by-side "5 things we learned . . . " headlines, the only difference in the heads being the team name.