Help me -- I'm incredibly jaded now.

OK -- yesterday I went out to do a photo shoot for someone our organization helped. The woman and her two children are going to be featured in future promotional/fund raising materials. We needed a photo and I needed more information to make the story complete.

A little background first -- the woman is in her early 20s, came out of an abusive relationship, had to re-learn how to drive (the ex refused to let her drive/renew her license) and had no financial literacy. In less than a year, she got out of the relationship, into a shelter and is turning her life around. She's in a transitional apartment, which she furnished, and is working on buying a house.

So, cut to yesterday, a co-worker and I go to the apartment, which is maybe 700 square feet. The woman welcomes us and lets us in and as I enter the living I nearly trip over the 60" HDTV that takes up half her living room.

The rest of her apartment is Spartan. The kids have few toys and clothes and the kitchen was pretty bare. I wanted to feel inspired by this woman and her courage, but all I could think about was the fact this woman got a $3,000 tax refund and used most/part of it to buy a luxury. And this was the person we were putting on a pedestal for financial literacy and asset building.

Am I wrong to think this way? I realize there are thousands of people helped out there that truly need the assistance, but there are others out there that miss out on these services while people like this young woman squander her opportunities.

I really don't like thinking this way -- especially during the holidays, but I can't help myself.

 

It's a legitimate concern. Sure, it's her money and she can do with it what she wishes, but making her out to be some sort of poster child for fiscal resposibility IF she buys a TV at apparently the expense of the rest of her apartment.

Reason for IF in all caps: She definitely bought it, right? Not a giveaway or perhaps some sort or payoff from the boyfriend's family or something like that?

 

Maybe she just uses it to watch financial shows, Freelance. Back off.

Reminds me of a friend who became a lawyer at a largish firm, and his primary job for several years was writing threatening letters to people who owed money and then working to get the money or items back.

I once said to him, "Don't you feel bad taking the refrigerator away from some little old lady who can't pay her rent?"

He said, "Screw 'em. It's not refrigerators or ovens. They're buying big screen TVs and expensive stereo systems. I don't feel bad at all."

--- Oh, and in the woman's defense, maybe she stole it. Which from a fiscal responsibility standpoint would still work.

 

Which I was going to bring up as a possibility, but I didn't want anyone to yell at me for hating women or something. She must have good leg muscles.

 

it's not polite to talk about but this is reality. why do you see so many nice cars in the 'hood? sure, plenty are being bought with drug money but just as many people sink everything into their car or other luxury items instead of providing a better life for their family.

 

I think it's a slippery slope to analyze the values of people who have endured a life most of us can't imagine.

I understand where you're coming from, Freelance...I've spent years deeply involved with homeless kids and mothers....it's bizarre to see kids in a shelter with PSPs. But learning financial literacy is as difficult for them as learning to speak Russian would be for you and me. It's foreign and hard and they make a lot of mistakes. They come from a background and culture that offered them no role models; the fact that this woman is in your program shows she doesn't want to repeat the past. Hopefully, she has people around her to watch and teach and guide her.

 

I understand the point about analyzing values, but I think you can make a call on a point in which she reveals herself not entirely consistent with her stated beliefs. Put another way: if she was there to be in a promotion for some pro-abstinence until marriage group, and the first thing you notice when you walk into her apartment is a dildo on her coffee table, you're going to wonder if she's the right person to champion the cause, y'know?

Plus, it's fun to type the word "dildo." Dildo.

 

I would think a dildo would be perfectly in keeping with a pro-abstinence stand. Actually.

Perhaps a package of birth control pills would make a better argument. But I agree they are not nearly as fun to write. Birth control pills.

 

Actually, if she had a dildo, I would think she had found a pretty good way to relieve the stress of pro-abstinence.

(damn, i see Ace has been here already.)

 

This topic reminds me of one of my favorite all-time stories in The OnionL

"As You Can See From My Clothing, I Am Not Poor"

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/33490

Just because I happen to live with my four brothers and sisters in my mom's two-bedroom South Side apartment, work at Taco Bell, and don't have a car, some ignorant types assume that I don't have much money. But, as you can clearly see from my $220 Fubu jacket and $95 Tommy Hilfiger sweatshirt, I could not possibly be poor.

 

The Stress of Pro-Abstinence would be a great name for a Christian rock band, though.

You in, 21?