Heard a good one lately?: The Joke Thread

Mike, I feel dirty for just reading those.

 

That's pretty much the design of the jokes. I've got a hand-full of Helen Keller jokes, too.

 

Fixed again.

 

And again.

 

Fixed again.

 

A young blonde woman was driving through the Florida Everglades while on vacation.

She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the young Blonde declared, "Well then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair of shoes for free!"

The shopkeeper said with a sly smile, "Well little lady, why don't you go on and give it a try?"

The blonde headed off to the swamp, determined to catch an alligator.

Later in the day, as the shopkeeper is driving home, he spots the same young woman standing waist deep in the murky water, shotgun in hand. As he brings his car to a stop, he sees a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her. With lightning reflexes, the Blonde takes aim, shoots the creature and hauls it up onto the slippery bank.

Nearby were 7 more dead gators, all lying belly up. The shopkeeper stood on the bank, watching in silent amazement. The blonde struggles mightily and manages to flip the gator onto its back.

Rolling her eyes heavenward, she screams in frustration, "THIS ONE'S BAREFOOT, TOO!"

 

Fixed once more.

 

Another won't hurt

 

Oh....what the hell.

 

What do you do when an epileptic falls in your pool?



Toss in your laundry.

 

Same thought here.

 

Here goes:

Why does Hellen Keller use one hand to masturbate?



***********

So she can moan with the other (ba dum ching!)