Have you ever...?

SO the lunch discussion today was whether Verizon could track the websites you visit on your phone. And the uniinformed opinion was they could not. Did a google search on it and that was the response from a Verizon discussion group.
Anyway, the next discussion concerned the bathrooms in the office. There's a men's room, typical. There's a women's room, apparently typical. And a third uni-sex handicapped bathroom. THat was the topic becuase the receptionist can disappear in there for 20 minutes a day. It's just a commode and sink but its a large sized room with a lock.
Speculating what goes on came up with the theory that since Verizon can't track your websites, she goes in the bathroom to masterbate.

Have you ever masterbated at work?

 

Gee, that was a long buildup.

No.

 

Baron did once, after he filled out a timecard with 35 hours of overtime.

 

No, but someone apparently did.

At a former office, there was a shared bathroom with other businesses in the building. One day I reached to pull out a seat cover and the metal holder swung open, revealing two or three porno magazines hidden behind the box of ass gaskets.

We never did figure out who they belonged to.

 

About 15 years ago, I was on the road at a bowl game and one of the writers from a different paper got a car and offered me and another writer a ride to the hotel...

During the ride over he starts talking about how he used to work in this city and he knows where all the great food is, and he invited us to dinner with him. We had worked with this guy for awhile, but this was the first time we had crossed paths during travel and we just kind of shrugged and said sure...

We check into the hotel and then he says, "Give me 20 minutes to change and jerk off and then we'll go to that steakhouse."

He walks into his room and the other writer and I are sitting there saying, "Did he just say what I think he just said?"

About 20 minutes later he meets us in the lobby and says to the other writer, "I love jerking off in hotels. There's nothing better than flicking it on the lampshade afterwards." and he made the Spider-man flicking motion. I did not hear him say that, but I saw him do the Spider-man move, so I'm pretty sure my buddy wasn't exaggerating.

He's not a bad guy, but needless to say that was the last time we hung out with him on a road trip.

 

If you work for some newspaper chains, you don't have to because you get f**ked every day at work.

 

That's the winning post, right there.

I remember back in the infancy of the Internet, working at a small daily, where there was only the computer in the photo department (a little cubbyhole off the newsroom) that you could get online on. I came in one morning to pick up a notebook on the way to a game, and looked over to see one of the mid-level editors at the photo computer, pants around the ankles, just abusing himself.

We looked at each other and neither said a word. I grabbed the notebook and left, and I assume he kept jerking it. We never spoke of it, and I never went near his desk or the photo computer ever again.

 

^^^ Roswell?

 

We had a kid who helped out in the post production room after hours (his mom was one of the supervisors, so he helped lug papers to be stuffed with inserts and then to carriers). So one night, apparently he made this grand announcement that he was going to the editorial side of the building and he was not to be disturbed because reasons. So naturally, this aroused suspicion and sure enough, he was found at the city reporter's computer with a bunch of porn in the browser history (I never knew if he actually was caught waking it, but there was no doubt what he was doing). The next day featured a very awkward manager's meeting and a hurried scrubbing of the reporter's keyboard and chair before she came to work. For obvious reasons, we didn't exactly tell the woman her computer was so rudely defiled.

 

Well, I never!!

I've done some pretty dumb things at work ... but no.

 

About a decade a go, an executive with a MLB franchise was busted for masturbating at his desk at work. Apparently, there was a small window into his office and somebody witnessed the act. I believe he was fired, though that was not the publicly stated reason.

 

How has avombatus not posted yet?