Have you ever been arrested?

Beauty Strange Brew reference, eh?

 

No one has admitted to giving one either.

 

I think I should have put bubba prison assfucking in the Super Bowl thread...

 

Was on the wrong side of the jailhouse door, once, but never been arrested.

 

Maybe I led a sheltered life or I'm at a "Get off my lawn!" point in life, but I've been astounded by how so many young people think getting arrested is no big deal.

I was pulled over last year and had an expired insurance card, so I had to go to court to get the ticket torn up. When I was there waiting, the first kid called up was your typical snot-nosed punk, wearing a backwards hat, saying "Hey Judge" when his case was called and all that. He was popped for drug possession, no insurance, driving under the influence and maybe speeding. Acted like he didn't have a care in the world.

He pleaded guilty, then the judge basically gave him probation and court costs of about $1,500 or something. The kid's mood changed in hurry. He didn't have it, and explained to the judge that he's in school to operate heavy machinery, and if he has this guilty plea on his record, he'll be kicked out of school and be basically unemployable in this line of work.

The judge said, "So why did you plead guilty?" After the kid stammered a little, the judge let him withdraw the guilty plea and sent him to the court clerk to set up a meeting with the prosecutor to try and work something out.

Have no idea why this turd thought he was the cutest, funniest thing on the planet, then suddenly had the light go on. But I'm sure it wasn't his first or last time in front of a judge.

 

If it's a misdemeanor and the deal is for no jail time, pleading guilty is just quick and easy. Counties/states don't want to pay to feed and house for minor offenses, prosecutors offer sweet deals with few real consequences to keep the conviction rate high, judges let it go so they can zip through the docket, people move on with life. I've even seen people with felony theft convictions serve less than a year. You may spend a night or two in jail, but unless you're a violent criminal you're not doing a lot of time. Even then, you might get out early because the prison is overcrowded.

I've written about a man who served less than a year for killing someone in a drunk driving crash who caused another injury crash a few years later. Another man had more than 10 DUI convictions in 20 years and none of his five judges would follow the state's minimum sentencing statute to put the guy away for at least five years.

With so little to lose, getting arrested and put into the system isn't that big of a deal anymore. America!

 

I had a friend in a similar situation. I was with him. Cop pulled him over for speeding on a two-lane freeway. He slowed down, turned on his hazards and took the next exit and pulled over immediately. He was immediately arrested and charged with trying to evade an officer or something ridiculous. He was in the holding cell for six hours before I could bail him out. Everything was thrown out.

 

The lesson I'm learning is to pull over immediately. If a cop wants to endanger his life in the side of the road, that's his problem.

 

I may have told this story here before, but I was arrested when I was 19 or 20 (can't remember at this point). A friend and I were out at a local bar, drinking nickel drafts (yes, folks, a nickel for a draft beer). It was a local dive, where everybody knew everyone, and this stranger walked in and immediately shouted "Where are all the fine bitches at?" (I guess he was going for a Blazing Saddles thing)

My friend took exception to it, went up to him and had words with him and next thing I know, they're outside rolling around in the dirt. Didn't take long for the cops to arrive, and they've got them both cuffed and leaning over the hoods of the vehicles and my dumbass decided to ask the officer what my friend was being charged with. I was a freaking part-timer at the local newspaper and when the cop told me it was none of my business, I made a stupid comment that I worked for the paper and that I would get it anyway, whether the cop wanted to tell me or not.

Well, a second later, I'm being tackled into the ground, arms twisted behind my back and cuffed and stuffed into the back of the patrol unit with my friend. All three of us went to jail. For the record, my friend and the other guy were charged with disturbing the peace by fighting, public intoxication and assault on an officer (the other guy was charged with that because when they slammed him into the hood of the car, the antenna snapped in half and whacked the cop in the face. Not sure how the guy gets charged for that, but whatever). I was charged with public intoxication and interfering with duties of a police officer.

We spent the night in the drunk tank (all three of us, which was dumb considering we were there for a fight) and at around 4 a.m. we got a nice pepper spray bath because they brought in some unruly drunk and when they threw him in the tank with us, he went after the officer and so we all got a nice little shot of spray. I never want to experience that again as long as I live.

Long story short, I spent six hours in the drunk tank and two hours in a cell with another inmate. I didn't sleep a wink. They got us out of the drunk tank around 7 a.m. and made us go out in the yard and do PT. I got through about 25 jumping jacks before I barfed my lungs out. I ended up being excused from PT, but I have to walk around the yard until they were finished. The two hours in the cell with the inmate wasn't bad. It was an older guy doing 10-20 for some kind of embezzlement (he didn't get into it and I didn't ask). He showed me his collection of books, showed me how to properly clean a cell for inspection and told me which foods to avoid in the mess hall.

Good news is that the assistant police chief was a neighbor. Better news is that he had all the charges dropped. Bad news is that he released me to my mom, who made me wish I was back in that cell.

It's been my one and only run-in with the law. And it was enough for me to know I'd never last 24 hours in a prison.

 

Yeah, I felt bad for my friend because I was telling him what to do because that was what I thought the cop would want. For the record, he agreed with me, but when you're on an extremely busy 2-lane highway and a cop is trying to pull someone over, when the guy slows down, turns on his hazards and takes the next exit and pulls over the second he's off the ramp, he's not exactly trying to evade the authorities.

 

Don't they tell you to do this? In cases where there have been police impersonators around they even say drive to a police station if one is close enough. Whatever to make everyone feel safe. I find it crazy a cop would writer someone up for evading. It goes against good advice. Then again, it's why people don't like police.

 

Pull over immediately. If the cop gets hit, that's on him. Occupational hazard.