Hard Rock Park

You can't print that!

Who printed that?

 

That's nitpickin' isn't it?

 

You have to take Terry Kath's Gun Safety class first.

 

The Marvin Gaye Father and Son shooting range.

 

Michael Jackson's concession stand. $50 gets you all-you-can-drink Jesus Juice and your own eight-year-old boy for an hour (eight-year-old boy optional).

 

Join your own boy band, with Lou Perlman.
Bring your own knee pads.

http://www.vanityfair.com/fame/features/2007/11/pearlman200711

 

Janis Joplin's Vomit Comet -- A popular ride with the over-50 set, it hasn't been oiled for a while which accounts for that rusty screech patrons hear throughout the ride. Rated mediocre at best, nobody under 30 appreciates this old, unattractive coaster.

McCartney's Wings -- The best buffalo wings spot at the park. Unfortunately, cleanliness is not a hallmark, which is why patrons, hours later, find themselves "On the Run"

 

Lynard Skynard Flight Simulator -- Alabama residents "fly" free.


Phil Spectre Dating Service -- Looking for company for your day at the park? Give it a shot.

 

The Prince Lake Minnetonka Ride. Only, that isn't Lake Minnetonka.

 

Along those lines: The Bon Scott Upside Down Rollercoaster.

 

Jan and Dean's Go-Cart Racing -- straightaways aplenty, but look out for... everybody all together, now... Dead Man's Curve.

 

Some brilliant humor, here, folks. Kudos to all.