Guiteau Innocent! Clinton Killed President Garfield!

Why not? It's the best in the city.

 

I feel sorry for Kathleen Willey, who's obviously been driven a little mad by the death of her husband, just as, say, Cindy Sheehan has been driven a little mad by the death of her son.

I'm happy to stipulate here, for the record, that I don't the Clintons or their henchmen ever killed anybody.

Except, possibly, Vince Foster. And, maybe, that woman in the mysterious Georgetown Starbucks killings.

 

Let's blame them for Chaundra Levy, too.

 

I heard the Clintons stole kidneys from Vegas tourists and stuck diseased needles underneath gasoline pump handles.

 

Man, H2, I'D forgotten The Starbucks Killings.

 

Get the damned facts straight. It was paper towel dispensers. Jeebus.

 

That one struck close to home, actually, as the young woman was a friend-of-a-friend with a guy I worked with in PR back in the day. Somebody tried, of course, to throw that one into the vast conspiracy machine ... and it turned up, with many of the details laundered out, as a CSI case a few years back.

 

None of this could be true. Everyone is out to get the Clintons. Vast right-wing conspiracy. The Clintons are good people everyone else is lying. The right-wingers have started these lies. Vast right-wing conspiracy. All of these scandals are bogus, it is only a coincidence that the Clintons have all these ties to mobsters, gangsters, people have died suspicious deaths, Chinese bag men and whores who like to have sex with powerful men. Vast-right wing conspiracy. It is just another one of Scaife and Ruddy's flights of fantasy......

Sadly, like clockwork, I'm sure some of you are probably dusting off this line of nonsense so you can win your next water cooler argument or in the hopes that you get through Rush Limbaugh's screener and get on the air.......

 

He believes every word of it.
You knew this was coming.