Greatest quote ever

No way has this sentence ever been uttered in the history of mankind until Joe "The Animal" Laurinaitis -- father of OSU linebacker James Laurinaitis -- said it to The PD's Doug Lesmerises:

http://www.cleveland.com/osufootball/plaindealer/index.ssf?/base/sports/1199611918171810.xml&coll=2

For those of you who don't know, the elder Laurinaitis used to be part of the greatest tag team of all time, The Road Warriors:

 

Umm.... really?

 

ummm... no

 

This thread is incredibly full of fail.

 

It makes as much sense as this thread.

 

Back when wrestling was cool, back in the early '90s, those guys were the Legion of Doom over in the WWF.


And I've said that same quote at least twice in the last week. At least.

 

Here's something that has never been said before in the history of civilization: After I chop my cock and balls off, I'm going to shove this red hot poker up my ass.

-George Carlin-

 

That was my first thought, too, Kaylee.

Then there are some things you never hear. That makes sense, some things you never hear. You never hear this, "dad, you really ought to drink more." Here's something you don't hear too often. "Do what you want to the girl, but leave me alone." Here is something no one has ever heard ever. Ever. "As soon as I put this hot poker in my ass, I'm going to chop my dick off." You know why you never that? Right! No one ever said that. Which to me is the more amazing thing, no one ever thought to say that before tonight. I'm the first person in the world put those words together in that particular order. First guy. Number one. Here's something you don't hear too often. "Honey, let's sell the children, move to Zanzibar and begin taking opium rectally." "Mom, mom I got a big date tonight. Can I borrow a French tickler from you?"

http://www.iceboxman.com/carlin/pael.php

 

Surely, over the course of the 144-page thread below, someone can find a better quote than that from a wrestler or ex-wrestler ...

http://www.sportsjournalists.com/forum/threads/33309/

 

Damn, Carlin can still make me laugh after all these years.

 

Still say John Drummond's "butt-naked last" riff on Carl Lewis in Atlanta was maybe the funniest thing I've ever heard, just for sheer shock value and the cadence of it.

 

Here's something you'll never hear anyone say: 'When he rode up on his unicycle, I knew I had to have his cock in my mouth.'

- Dave Attell