Good ol' derogatory (funny) quotes

I'm working on a feature about an area prep wrestling team that's pretty good but doesn't get much love because two of the top teams in the state are ahead of them in the conference.

This team has about 50 kids on the varsity and JV roster, which is probably the most in the entire area. The coach, whose built a pretty good tradition over the past decade, told me a lot of it was because his players "recruit" in the hallways and classes.

I asked a senior what he and his teammates have done to convince middle school and underclassmen to try out for the team. This is what he said:

"We just talk. We just talk a bunch of shit. We’re good and we know we’re good this year. 'Don’t play basketball, our basketball team sucks. They ain’t any good. Would you rather join a winning sport where you actually get to beat up on people or play on a team that'll lose?'"

I laughed out loud while he was saying this, but he continued to talk with a straight-face. I guess being a few years older than some of these high school people makes them feel like I'm "one of them" when they talk to me. I got a similiar quote at a boys soccer game a few months ago. It think it's a good thing.

Derogatory? Ha, a little bit. But it was funny and he wasn't being harmful.

Now, your stories...

 

This is sorta in line with the best quotes you couldn't use thread from a few months back. I'd look for it, but I'm lazy.

 

what am i missing? who is he degrading? or to be more precise, what's wrong with the degrading that he's doing? so long as he's not degrading specific genders or races, it seems fine with me if you clean up the profanity.

 

A co-worker, on a top-heavy, oddly built running back: "He takes corners like a Suzuki Samurai."

 

A college basketball coach I once covered...

"He's a buffet player. By that, I mean that he picks and chooses when he wants to play. Also, he's fat."

 

My brother, talking about a gay friend:

"He's smoked more meat than J.M. Schneider." (Schneider Foods is a famous Canadian packaged meat producer)

My mother, about a loose girl in the old neighbourhood:

"If she had as many pricks sticking out of her as she's had stuck in her, she'd be a porcupine."

 

Some oldies but goodies from Steve Spurrier...

You can't spell Citrus without UT...

And FSU: Free Shoes University.

 

A I-AA coach that competes with the MAC for recruits on his pitch to them: "Would you rather come here and play for a national championship or go where you can play in a bowl in Detroit on a Wednesday night?"

 

Bob Knight from a presser two or three years ago: "Yeah, we told them that if they didn't start getting more defensive rebounds, they'd get shot. Fortunately, the rebounds went up and I didn't have to shoot anybody."

 

One of my favorite quotes of all time -- Jim Mora.

What do you think of your team's execution.

"I'm in favor of it."

Or something along those lines.

 

"Whoever said no man is an island never saw Stanley Roberts in a swimming pool."

 

Ed the Sock on Britney Spears: "She's seen more shaft than an elevator."