Funny phone call of today

Me: Craptown sports

Older-sounding male caller: Yeah, I'm looking for Melanie Jones.

Me: I'm not aware of anybody here by that name, sir.

Caller: What do you mean? Her name is listed right here as the contact.

Me: There's nobody named Melanie here sir.

Caller: You said 'sports', right?

Me: Yes sir, but there's nobody here named Melanie.

Caller: Well this thing says to contact Melanie at the Sporting News, and you said sports and you're the Craptown newspaper, aren't you? So that makes you the Craptown sporting news, doesn't it?

Me: Sir, this is the Craptown Express. The Sporting News is an entirely separate publication.

Caller: But it's sports, isn't it?

Me: Yes, sir, you've reached the sports department at the Craptown Express. You're looking for the Sporting News.

Caller: Isn't that who I've got?

Me: The Sporting News and the Craptown Express are two separate publications. Two completely different businesses. The Sporting News is published in an entirely different state.

Caller: Well, can you transfer me there then?

Me: Sir, the Sporting News is a completely separate publication from the Craptown Express. I can't just transfer you.

Caller: Fine. Can you give me their phone number then? I'll call them myself.

Me: By chance is there a phone number listed for Melanie on the document you're looking at?

Caller: Yeah.

Me: What happened when you called that number?

Caller: Mumbling from a distance and then he hangs up.




I admit that probably could have been handled better, but once I realized he'd confused The Sporting News with the sports department at the local newspaper, it was all I could do not to just laugh the man right off the phone.

 

mikey got into this business for phone calls like that.

 

Sure did, jps. That's like the cigar after a good dinner.

 

lovin it, mike. damn it all, I might just have to get a beer and watch full house with you some time. and you're the only person I'd ever even think about offering up that combination to.

 

There's an Abbott and Costello routine hiding somewhere in that conversation.

 

I've got all nine seasons. Remember that.

 

you scare me. god love ya, you freak me right the hell out sometimes, my friend.

 

Mission accomplished.

 

Who's on first?

 

uncle jessie.

 

Really?

 

Once you know it's hopeless, you say, "I'll transfer you," push a couple of buttons and hang up.