funny jokes

People keep posting "funny" jokes at the Wenalway forum. Given the state of the board here lately, I'm sure some people here will find them hilarious. So here's the latest and greatest:

A lady is working hard in her office when a co-worker tells her that her hair smells good.

Immediately, she goes to her boss and tells him that she has been sexually harassed.

"How?" asks the boss.

"He said my hair smells good," replied the lady.

"Wouldn't you take that as a compliment?"

"Normally I would, but he's a midget."

 

That's weak.

 

Two old friends -- guys haven't seen each other for years -- meet on the street and start talking. Midway through the conversation, one stops, cocks his head to one side and says "George, the last time I saw you, you were thinking about becoming a pilot."
"Yup," says his friend, dejectedly.
"Well, did you take flight lessons?"
George answers in the affirmative, yet sinks lower. Curious, his friend asks why the long face.
"Well," says George. "I cruised through the classroom portion of flight school, I was on the first training flight and the pilot turned to me and informed me that A) he was a first-degree blackbelt, and B) if I didn't succumb to his sexual advances, I would have to jump from the plane immediately."
"Geez. That sucks," says the friend. "Well, did you jump?"
"A little, at first."

 

I read this joke in Playboy like 15 years ago. Only in that variation, it was a dude in the Air Force whose CO took them on paratrooper training, etc. Damn, why do I remember that?

 

fess up, buck. that playboy's in a cardboard box marked 'junior high textbooks' in your attic right now, isn't it?

 

;D

 

Guy goes into a doctor's office, and says he's got a real problem.

"I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam. I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam."

Doctor pauses for just second.

"I know what your problem is. You're too tense."

 

someone feel free to post a joke that's actually funny.

 

come on, that was gold. gold hondo! [/banya]

 

I think the point of this thread is to tell unfunny jokes.

 

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in the Elks Lodge #2309.

With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman, we'll call her Maureen, in the 4th row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes! What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person. Because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but women in general and all in the name of humor!"



The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, when Maureen yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little shit sitting on your knee!"

 

I thnik that's what Hondo has in mind.

Good work HC.