Funniest thing you couldn't laugh at

What's the dude wearing? Is he in a suit and tie? Or is he wearing baggy pants and a shirt that's five times too big?

But just so we're on the same page ... Dave's skit about the white guy who was a leader of the black supremacy group, that didn't have a smidge of racism?

 

Actually, he said the person was Muslim, so the joke, while perhaps bigotted, was not racist.
I don't think he said the person was Middle Eastern or made any reference to the person's race, ethnicity or place of origin.

 

Had another one just today.
I was sitting in the DMV, waiting to get the address on my license changed. There's maybe 50 people in the waiting room, but the volume is low. So it was easy to hear one of the longest, loudest, wettest farts I've ever heard in my life. The thing lasted about 10 seconds, and sounded like the offender was splattering the inside of their drawers with stinky pudding.
I was sitting six or eight feet from where I thought it came from, and I heard it clearly.
It seemed to come from a couple rows of chairs in front of me. The chairs are back to back, and there was no one in the row directly in front of me, so I start scanning to see who it could be. I figure it's got to be an old man. Well, the only people there are about five middle-aged women, one of whom was bent over when the bomb was dropped.

Farts are always funny. Farts in public are funny in an embarrassing way. Women farting in public is even funnier.
Anyway, nobody seemed to be owning up to it, either in shame or in an amused way. I start looking around, and this high school kid sitting next to me seemed to have heard it. He's looking around, too, but doesn't know how to react. It was like we both wanted to laugh, but didn't know where to direct it.
Truly, an opportunity lost.

 

That's a damn shame.

 

pern, don't take this the wrong way but you have a serious fucked up sense of what's right and what's wrong.

 

I would love to sit here and say I didn't laugh at the Terry Schiavo jokes in Jim Norton's last two HBO specials, but I would be a liar...

 

When I was parking cars at a country club in college, I saw an old man piss himself while walking around the car to drive it away.

I saw an old lady's dress just fall to her knees (thank God the slip stayed on) when she stood up.

We saw an old man sitting backwards in the passenger seat (no shit, back to the dashboard) while his wife was driving. She was a mess as well.

Saw Hattie Babbitt (Bruce's mom) cut a saguaro cactus in half plowing down a hill. When she said the new Caddy's breaks (17 miles) did not work, a smart ass valet asked her if she pressed them.

 

Are you saying genocide isn't funny? Because if you are ... well, sir, I don't think I know you anymore. ...

 

SOMEONE PLEASE FIND ME A VIDEO LINK TO THIS! I have not heard it!!!

 

There's a sports radio host in LA who used to be huge. Probably 400 pounds.
I was headed to the dining room at an event we were covering and asked him if I could get him something.
"Yeah," he replied. "A diet Coke."
I still laugh about that some 20 years later.

 

I was about 16, and we were visiting my sister's house for Christmas. Now, she married a guy about 20 years older than herself, and his mother was about 90 at the time.

My brother was stationed overseas with the Army, and we were all making an audio tape for him. We passed the recorder around, each one saying their little thing.

Finally, it came to Grandma Miller. And she held the microphone and said, "Hello? Hello, young man? ...

"Why, he's not saying anything at all!"

 

you should have punched her.