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Fun ledes

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by Songbird, Aug 2, 2006.

  1. Songbird

    Songbird Well-Known Member

    We have a full-time stringer who also freelances for a major national magazine, who lives locally and likes to cover the crime beat (and write crime books, which he's done with nice success). Anyway, sometimes he writes really good like one for this week:

    DATELINE — An Ascutney man who, according to a witness,
    fired three shots at his fleeing wife Saturday,
    "like he was after a deer with a rifle,"
    was ordered held without bail Monday
    because he now faces a potential life sentence in prison.

    The "like he was after a deer with a rifle" quote is priceless. I totally envision how that must have looked when it happened.

    What are some of your favorite ledes?
  2. Armchair_QB

    Armchair_QB Well-Known Member

    CHICAGO (AP) - It was like old times for Cub fans today. Steve Trachsel pitched slowly and the Cubs lost at Wrigley Field.
  3. Ace

    Ace Well-Known Member

    Dude must not be much of a hunter. I assume from the lede that he didn't hit his wife.
  4. Batman

    Batman Well-Known Member

    I wrote one some years back when two of our state college teams played. They were a combined 3-20 or something like that that season. It started raining 10 minutes before kickoff, stopped 10 minutes before the game ended, and led to an appropriately miserable 12-3 game. My lede...

    "The football gods wept on the Delta Saturday afternoon."
  5. Bob Cook

    Bob Cook Active Member

    No offense, but that guy's lede is kind of clunky. I've taken the liberty of cleaning it up:

    Police say an Ascutney man Saturday fired three shots at his fleeing wife "like he was after a deer with a rifle," as one witness put it.
  6. joe_schmoe

    joe_schmoe Active Member

    the problem here is, while I doubt too many people confuse this, the statement suggests the witness is witnessing the police saying that...not necessarily the act of what the man did.
  7. Bob Cook

    Bob Cook Active Member

    True. But I'm working from the original, so I don't know if the witness made that statement to police, in which case I would knock out the "Police say" and have at the end "as one witness told police." I'm trying to get around using "allegedly" but putting in the requisite qualifier to presume innocence.

    Anyway, my reason for revision was the original lede had too much information stuffed into it. The bond and the potential prison sentence don't have to go in the lede. Actually, I would say that's a common problem with ledes -- too much information stuffed into one graf.
  8. Big Buckin' agate_monkey

    Big Buckin' agate_monkey Active Member

    Delta Saturday is the name of the field?

    Oh....Delta on Saturday afternoon.
  9. alleyallen

    alleyallen Guest

    Thank you. Pet peeve of mine but I didn't want to point it out.
  10. imjustagirl2

    imjustagirl2 New Member

    It's not a pet peeve. It's wrong.
  11. writing irish

    writing irish Active Member

    Texas Rangers manager Whitey Herzog offered a cinematic parallel to last night's 14-2 loss to California at Arlington Stadium.
    "It was like the love scene from Deliverance," Herzog said.
  12. alleyallen

    alleyallen Guest

    :-X :p :-X
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