For those of you about to come to China...

...these are the things I've learned:

1) Bring a step-down converter and a plug adapter for your laptop.

2) Don't order chicken.

3) Recalibrate your expectations of personal space.

4) Look three ways before you cross the street (cars can turn right on red without stopping).

5) Landlines are bugged by the fuzz. Say the word "Tibet," and you'll get cut off.

6) It's weird to be stared at.

7) If a pretty Chinese girl asks you if you want to take her for coffee and help her learn English, she's going to take you to a restaurant that will serve a big strap-on dildo up your ass with every order of steamed rice.

8) Don't drink the tap water.

9) Tsingtao is actually a German beer and pretty damn good.

10) Immodium. Lots and lots of Immodium.

 

I'm going just for No. 7.

 

No. 7 had me laughing my ass off.

 

I thought cindybj already knew English.

 

I'm not surprised by 10, considering who started the thread. Eight isn't a shocker either.

 

Did she charge extra for #7?

 

With 2, do you get egg roll?

 

That comes with No. 7.

 

8) Hong Kong Fuey.

Ain't no No. 1 Super Guy.

 

On No. 7, did you have to tip them or did they tip you?

 

No, that's a yeast roll.

 

They started Jones with the tip, just to see how he'd respond to it.

And on No. 5, how many times did you say "Tibet" just to test the censors?