For once, Simmons might be on to something...

Timing is everything. Tagliabue is gone. There's a new sheriff in town.

 

What?
Somebody held him down and poured Scotch down his throat?
Must have been a big someone.

 

Not once, even, but twice. He was nabbed for DUI again a couple years after he killed the woman.

But he didn't do it on purpose, so I guess its okay.

 

Apparently Simmons was not outraged over Little until Vick's conviction. Fuck him.

 

And the most disturbing thought of all:

 

The fact that someone else, somewhere, has done something worse and gotten away with it is rarely, if ever, a mitigating factor in someone's punishment.

 

Just a year ago Simmons declared the Rams his sleeper team and played them up all year. He credited Leonard Little's play for their hot start a year ago:

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/061013

He did say that TO was giving Little competition for most loathsome player in the league in a previous column.

Still, Simmons can cram his sanctimoniousness up his Boston ass.

 

Which reminds me about someone's great formulation about liberals who became conservatives after the attacks on NYC and DC.

"I used to be a liberal but, because of 9/11, I am now outraged by Chappaquiddick."

 

That might be a valid argument for his first offense. But to get behind the wheel drunk again knowing that you killed a woman doing it the last time -- that qualifies as "on purpose" to me.

 

And man, what's up with the Argonauts? I was sitting in my living room the other day, watching Degrassi: The Next Generation while drinking a Molsons and eating a donut from Tim Horton's when it hit me: The Argos are my sleeper team for 2008! Admitting that made me throw up in my mouth just a little, which normally would be ok, but I'm missing a few teeth from all the hockey I've been playing, so some bile dribbled out my mouth onto my coffee table, staining my copy of Alice Munro's latest short story collection. Not good times! Anyway, J-Bug and I scored two tickets to the Arcade Fire concert later tonight, and I suspect we'll spend the evening arguing over the relative merits of the new Malcom Gladwell book, and debating which chick we'd rather bone, Avril Lavigne or Nelly Furtado. Zut alors! Tough call, but what a country! Good times!

 

Sweet.

 

Brilliant.