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Five things you should never do before sex

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by Killick, Aug 7, 2015.

  1. Killick

    Killick Well-Known Member

    Huffington Post gives us an article advising against five actions before doing the deed.

    5 Things You Should Never Do Before Sex

    I thought the hucksters here at SJ.com could come up with a better, more informed list.

    • Never pay in advance
    • Offer a specialty beverage you call a "Cosby Cocktail," or
    • Make them read your latest column first

    So, commers, what have you?
  2. TheSportsPredictor

    TheSportsPredictor Well-Known Member

  3. Riptide

    Riptide Well-Known Member

    Don't tell her she's a 4.
    Killick likes this.
  4. Spartan Squad

    Spartan Squad Well-Known Member

    Rick Stain said he would, thought I'd give it a go
    Killick likes this.
  5. 93Devil

    93Devil Well-Known Member

    Say the extra weight looks good on her...
    Killick likes this.
  6. Ace

    Ace Well-Known Member

    Have sex. Unless you're confident or popping the little blue pill.
  7. Mr. Sluggo

    Mr. Sluggo Member

    Fondle the antlers unless your sure it's really dead.
  8. Riptide

    Riptide Well-Known Member

    Don't tell her you're not a vegan. That's your exit strategy.
  9. Vombatus

    Vombatus Well-Known Member

    Venture into the cornfield without a blanket.
  10. Put a strap on your female scarecrow.

    Take your pig out to Walmart.
    Donny in his element and Killick like this.
  11. I'd say cry, but I suspect that's a common tactic for long-time married men.
    So, I've heard.
  12. Mystery Meat II

    Mystery Meat II Well-Known Member

    Her sister.
    Donny in his element likes this.
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