Favorite stock quotes from prep football coaches

"I ate fiberglass insulation -- it wasn't cotton candy like the man said."

 

"How do i feel about my team this year? Turn off the tape recorder and I'll tell you all about it."

 

We're the smallest school in the conference. (Making excuses in August)

 

Taking cues from Les Miles, perhaps?

 

"You need a suggestion for your section cover? Come take a photo of some of our guys sitting on the toilet.

"The theme can be 'Podunk High ain't worth a shit this year.' "

 

I heard a variation of this four times yesterday.

 

"I really don't know what to expect."

"We might win one or two."

"How's so-and-so look?"

 

ACtually, so did I.

 

Every player feature I've ever done.

"He/she is really competitive." or "He/she loves to compete"

 

You're not going to believe this, but my editor would make me cut this.

 

"good chemistry" that's the one. Best ever was a coach who said "what the hell is this chemistry? are there chemicals? what is it I'm missing about this chemistry stuff? they gel?" and so on. It was a pretty funny diatribe about "team chemistry."

 

"We may not be as big as we've been in the past, but we're a lot quicker."