Favorite Halloween sports ledes

Halloween was Wednesday, but Podunk College QB John Doe was running scared on Saturday...

Trick-or-treat came early for Hillbilly U in last night's big matchup...

As far as the Fightin' Eagles were concerned, Memorial Stadium was a haunted house last night...

It's my favorite time of year for sports writing. Let's hear some more.

 

We just love it when you junior high kids fuck around on the journalism topics board.

DTGDTN!

 

I guess I forgot the sarcasm font. Sorry.

 

Queef.

 

I'd rather shit myself than read one of those ledes.

 

Shitstain Prep's football season was splattered like a bucket of pumpkin guts all over the field as Badass High walloped the Skidmarks, 54-14, in a Class I playoff game Friday night.

 

Man, I saw a football playoff game the other night that reminded me of that photo.

 

I DID shit myself reading those.

 

Every year we have to tell our hs football stringers "NO Halloween ledes!!" this week. So what happens? One of our full-timers filed one. I can't remember the particulars, but it wasn't bad. It was actually more topical, with Halloween thrown in.

 

I find Christmas ones a lot more annoying than the Halloween ones.

"Suzy served as Santa Claus, dishing out 10 assists as gifts to all the good girls on her team."

Barf.

 

As place kicker Ernie Swenson drove away from Wavering Fart Memorial Stadium, his mind was a blur. Had he really just biffed two easy 30-yard field goal tries when his team needed them the most and when there were at least three scouts from Division I teams in the stands? Or was it all some strange dream?

Stopping his car suddenly in the driveway of his parents house, he heard a faint tap, tap, tapping on the driver's door. He leaned out the open car window only to discover, there on the door handle, the hook that had haunted his kicking game the entire night.

 

I've always wondered: In Canada, do editors tell their writers, "No Boxing Day ledes"?