Father, 61; daughter, 39

Bonus points to Dooley for not ending a sentence with a preposition.

 

May be a bit of a stretch, but the preposition bit and the avatar reminded me of the FBI dude from Beavis and Butt-head Do America who was obsessed with cavity searches...

 

He's not the world's baddest ass copy editor for nothing, you know.

 

1st-ld. writethru

 

First of all, dude, no one won that fight at the Senior Kickoff Party, and they were broken apart in the hallway. And you're saying the only reason Kelly went for Zack was because he was "obsessive"? I respectfully disagree.

Zack wasn't obsessed with Kelly. Sure, he had a life-sized cutout under his bed -- and in his closet sometimes. But that's it. Who among us hasn't pined after another in high school or college or right at this moment? Does that mean we're obsessed? No. All it meant for Zack was that he knew they would be together, that they were right for each other, that no other could compare to the way Kelly made him feel. Kelly felt the same way. That's why nothing ever progressed with Melvin Nerdley or Screech or Professor Lasky or Jeff or ... even Slater never panned out. Kelly felt it, too, almost as much as Zack felt the love for her.

Look. Slater had his chances. He dated Jessie when Kelly was single, and he cheated on her with his old girlfriend. Zack and Kelly weren't dating at the Malibu Sands Beach Club, were they? Slater sat next to Kelly on the lifeguard post day after day that summer and no sparks ever formed. Was it because of Zack's obsession? It couldn't have been. Stacey was there, remember?

It was Kelly's decision to date Zack. Both he and Slater wanted her, and she chose Zack. It wasn't his obsession. He didn't love her; he might have thought he did, but he didn't. She chose him because he was charming, handsome, a smooth talker and he cared. Did Slater take care of Billy, Kelly's infant brother? No. Who did? Yeah, it was Zack. He was made a fool in French class; not for his obsession, but because he cared so deeply for Kelly and all her family, it's a risk he was glad to take.

Slater had his great points. He really did. But, no matter what he did, he couldn't have beaten the past Zack and Kelly had. They shared something special. Zack was the first person she truly cared about. Sure, she dated Todd right before Zack -- remember, the her former boyfriend with the nice car, with whom she planned on having dinner tilting the two into a bad argument that prompted "What I Should Have Said Theater"? -- but she didn't love him. She didn't love Jeff, and she didn't really love Jeremiah (even though she said she was falling for him). And why is that? Because of Zack. She felt locked into him. They were soul mates.

Slater and Kelly never even kissed. They never went out or went to a dance together, unless you count when they "Danced to The Max." And I don't.

And are you telling me Zack wasn't a "super jock"? He was the captain of the track team, the basketball team and one heck of a center fielder. Slater had wrestling and football all to himself. I'd say the two balanced each other out pretty well. Slater's got the edge, sure. But Zack isn't too far behind. They both "Beat Valley." Running Zack always did.

Zack and Lisa didn't make a good pair. That's why they only lasted an episode. And it never would have happened if Kelly wasn't away on "vacation."

Besides, could you imagine a world with "Slater and Kelly's prom"? I can't. The thought of it makes me sad.

 

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!

 

Dude, the kid used Slater's T-shirt as a diaper...

I'll get back to you when I read the rest

 

It is over! It is all over!

 

Right, but he put his dump in Mancuso's locker. Zack would have gladly stored it in his.

 

I'm pretty sure I became a virgin again just by reading that.

 

How do you think I feel after typing it?

 

This is gonna take a while...here goes:

1. Life-size cutout = obsessed. I mean, how bad were the people at the copy place laughing at him?

2. You wouldn't have cheated on Jessie? You saw how crazy that bitch can get. "I'm so excited! I'm so excited! I'm so ... scared ..."

3. You saw Kelly for all however many episodes (and I guarantee you Mikey knows the answer). She's not that smart! She probably spent all night thinking of the "P-A-R-T-Y! Aaaaaaaaaat Screech's!" cheer. If she and Zack were so great, then how come she didn't think twice about kissing Jeff back that first time at The Max? Or having a go with Lasky? Zack was too distracted with blondes anyway (Ginger, Heather (I think), Leslie,etc).
3a. I know that undermines my Lisa point, but I'm willing to concede a point for the real prize...

4. Slater didn't go after Kelly at the beach club because he was mature enough (even at 17 or whatever) to know you don't date people you work with. He could've went after Kelly senior year, when they didn't have to maintain a professional working environment, but she was on/off vacation so much it wouldn't have lent itself to a healthy relationship. Slater was smart enough to understand that.

5. You're really bringing Running Zack into this? C'mon...kid ran the mile. I don't know how your high school was, but at mine, jocks sprinted or jumped or threw shit. They didn't run the mile. And center field? Was that junior high, or were you referencing to the over-the-couch Elvis catch that anyone with any field awareness would have caught? Basketball I would give you, but we never saw how good he was because he messed up his knee...wait for it...IN THE LOCKER ROOM.

Slater played basketball too. Plus he was the quarterback (they must have run the option) and was good enough to at least try to become a Pac-10 wrestler. Edge: Slater.

That's all I got for now...