Family Secrets

AND WHERE ARE ALL YOU PEOPLE AT GIBLETS TIME?? ?? ??

 

My mother once told me that my grandfather used to dabble in crossdressing. And my sister-in-law's first marriage was to someone who already had a wife

 

So ... you single?

 

Golddigger.

 

No, no no no. I was turned on my his "grow up not to be a jerk" thing! And he seems very nice, and not cold at all! It's not a money thing at all!!!!

*twirling hair, putting on lip gloss*

 

I saw him first!

 

So ... make him think you're not in it for the money?

 

Oddly, I can't think of a single thing in my family that is a secret. In my extended family everyone's been married to the same person for decades and nobody's on drugs or doing time or any other nefarious things.

Everyone, as far as I can tell, is happy and successful -- and has been for a few generations. Boring, huh?

 

you had your chance in college.

and IJAG, yes

 

1. My paternal grandfather had an older sister who is rumored to have been a prostitute in NYC. No one has ever been able to confirm and no one seems to know where she's buried, although she died in the 20s.

2. My uncle didn't graduate from college. This wasn't a secret to anyone except his kids. The day before his funeral, it somehow came up and I inadvertently spilled the beans. Oops. He was an asshole and I didn't feel bad that I blew his cover. His kids also thought he had finished most of a graduate degree at Columbia. Oops again.

 

Uh, hey baby.

This concludes today's episode of "IJAG Has No Game."

 

That threadjack was worse than a Lindsay Lohan update.