Ex-New Haven Register reporter dies at 27

OK, that's what I thought, too, because of the vagueness of the story. I thought maybe I was missing something else.

 

There was a suicide at my first shop (literally at the shop; he killed himself in the break room). We did not report on it, and the only mention of the guy was in his paid obit a few days later.

All papers do their own things, of course, but I'd be surprised if they'd spend a lot of time and inchcount being so effusive about him if he think he died by his own hand, given how the prevailing wisdom is to not report on any suicide except by public figures and in public places.

Plus you run the risk of being Chris Benoited, when WWE did a three-hour tribute show to him the day he and his family were found dead, but by the end of the broadcast it was widely known he killed his wife and son before doing himself.

 

You didn't report on this at all?

 

Not that I remember (it's been more than 10 years). I was actually out-of-town covering something so I wasn't around for the grizzly discovery or most of the immediate aftermath. As such, I have no idea why we didn't (could have been the unwritten don't-do-suicides rule, could have been at the behest of the meddling, image-conscious publisher, could have been something I can't even begin to guess at).

I can say that at every stop I've been -- little, big and in-between -- suicides have been verboten unless they happened in public or the person involved was a public figure.

 

It's a tough line to walk. If the guy killed himself, that obit/tribute was pretty inappropriate. But the line is often crossed because people have the best intentions and they want to honor the person who died, even if they did it themselves or if it was an accidental drug overdose or something like that...

When I wrote obits, I was told to write one where the family wanted it in the obit that the guy killed himself after a long bout with depression. I actually spoke with the funeral director and the father and the paper still would not run it the way they wanted it.

 

So that really happened? I always figured it was an urban legend.

 

I've written a surprising number of suicide stories about athletes. I've never received more hateful e-mail.

Half of the people want every detail to be included, because they think suicide (specifically in youths) is a problem that often gets swept under the rug. The other half don't want it reported at all.

Then there's the suicide activists who don't want you to say "committed" suicide.

 

Have you ever had one where the kid hung himself and no one was sure
whether it was suicide or an auto erotic self pleasuring gone bad?

 

They found a bear?

 

Close. Had one where the kid hung himself and the mother was convinced it was a joke gone wrong.

 

I wrote about one high school athlete who had killed himself and I wrote the entire article without using the word suicide. It wasn't something I did intentionally and I got all kinds of praise for how I handled the story from the family and the school. It made me really uncomfortable. "Hey great job on the suicide obit..." Our managing editor actually said that exact sentence...

 

My paper covered one from a HS athlete who wrote a note about how much he hated his life and put the gun in his mouth and pulled the trigger. The mom was completely convinced it was an accident.

It's heartbreaking stuff...