Encounters You Wish Would Be Wiped From Your Mind

If I recounted the moment I wish I could have wiped from my mind, I'd bring it right back to mind.

And I'd tell y'all something I only tell certain very close friends. And that ain't happening any time soon.

 

You know how the old man in Clockwork Orange breaks into twitches and goes insane upon hearing Singin' In The Rain?

That's what happens when I see clips from Silverado. To this day, I have not watched one minute of that movie since my night at Seth's.

 

Too bad. Kevin Costner's best work.

 

At dinner with a co-worker from Brattleboro. Her 23-year-old son who's a bit like Steve Buscemi in Ghost World, in the middle of eating pasta, looks at me and says, "You've got a pretty mouth."

Close second is the co-worker from Roswell who felt my cheek one day. Told him that would get him killed in some states. He replies, "I only wanted to touch your whiskers, Songbird."

 

Somehow, when I began reading this I thought IJAG wrote it. I was like, "I didn't know IJAG had a bi-curious phase." As it went on, I was like, "this can't be right" and I felt like a dope when I saw David Howard and BYH's handle.

So sorry BYH and a thousand sorries to IJAG. Unless there's a softball player who looks like Brook Jacoby somewhere.

 

You know, I'm really glad I didn't put you on my all-sj team. You bastard!

 

I am sincerely sorry. I really am.

 

Wait, IJAG is bi?

Fenian cries.

 

Why am I thinking "Ode to Billy Joe?"

 

IJAG IS NOT BI!

Only for Alyssa Milano (for me) or Shakira (for the bf).

 

Ugh. I've released hounds I never intended to release.

I'm going to go cower in shame now and watch Who's The Boss in a different light.

 

And, if I was, I'd like lipstick lesbians. Not the stereotypical softball players.