Easiest big-city airport to navigate

National Coney Island in Detroit's NWA terminal... along with a bag of Better Made's and a Vernors...

 

The shit they serve at that Corky's is the same shit they sell at Wal-Mart. It isn't too authentic, I'm afraid, lino.

 

Guarulhos, which serves the international flights to and from Sao Paulo, was extremely simple. We were brisked quickly to customs, and our luggage was right there after we were allowed into the country. Plus my ride to Santos was waiting for me right by baggage claim. The only thing that sucked was the early morning traffic in the outskirts of Sao Paulo. It's not the biggest city in the world for no reason.

Gatwick (southern London) was awful. A long walk from the terminal to baggage claim. And then a train to the other side of the airport to a madhouse of lines for train passes to everywhere imaginable - and none of them were marked well. Luckily I guessed right and found the right place to buy a pass to get into central London.

 

I didnt have a problem with Gatwick... for not knowing where I was going as a first-timer, I thought it was fairly easy between gate, customs and finding the Express...

 

I am curious...for those who have traveled via a non-English speaking country's transportation system - how did you handle the lack of English on signs?

 

I don't remember having a problem at any non-English joints.

 

I hate KC's airport. I fly Southwest all the time and wind up going through KC quite a bit. First, I despise the fact that you have to go through security for every four gates. If you're freaking close on a connection, forget it because you've got to take off your shoes, pull out the laptop, take off the coat ... and KC is the only airport where my belt set actually off the metal detector. Plus, there was the time when I (thanks Orbitz) flew into KC on American and had to change planes to a US Airways puddle jumper to get to Dodge City, Kan. Not only did I have to go through security twice, I had to go wait about 15 minutes for the Red Bus outside so I could get to another terminal. Good thing I wasn't checking a bag. At least the WiFi is free now, of course last time I was through there it was down.

 

I'm biased since I have family that lives 10 minutes from DFW and is gracious enough to let me stay there/take me around when I come in, but I really like it now that they've upgraded the tram system. As long as you're not trying to rent a car and not trying to make a tight connection, it's a really easy airport to navagate. I love how each terminal has 7 or 8 security entrances. There's hardly ever a backlog there.

As long as I'm being dropped off, I can get to DFW an hour before my flight and be confident I'll have bags checked, be through security and be at the gate within 15 minutes, provided I'm at the right gate. Getting out is equally easy. Bags are relatively quick to come out and there's ample short-term parking by each baggage claim.

Though getting through their on Dec. 22 was a nightmare trying to find a flight with all the weather delays.

The time thing is my biggest consideration. I can't stand Atlanta or Logan (in Boston) because there's only one security gate and it can take more than an hour to get through them. I'm spoiled by cruising through DFW security.

 

O'Hare is a fucking joke. End of story.

Since it's one of the busiest airports in the world, it's also one where most often you'll be delayed. Both arriving and departing.

I try to avoid it and the airline that uses it as a hub -- United -- like the plague. The last three United flights I've taken have had connections there. All three got me there more than an hour late -- not because of weather -- and I subsequently missed my connections each time. Even those connections I have made in the past routinely have taken off an hour late or more.

United's customer service leaves plenty to be desired as well in situations like that.

But no more for me. I'm done with those assholes and that shitty-ass airport, even if it does have lots to do/see.

 

I'll add a vote for Denver. Had to spend about 10 hours in there a few years ago (college student + 10 a.m. checkout in a hotel in an office park + 9:30 p.m. departure = The Terminal, the live show). Amazingly enough, I never got too bored. Partook in all the shops, had dinner in the food court, grabbed a cup of coffee, and had a beer and a cigar in the bar while watching Monday Night Football. Oh, and got on the wireless for a bit to send a paper back home. Could have been a lot worse. And very easy to get places, mostly because it's pretty much one big open building that connects out to the gates.

 

Probably my lengthiest stay in an airport (or should I say AT an airport) was Kahului, Maui.

Because of a logistical fuckup, I had to get there six hours before my flight to St. Louis. Problem was, no one was manning the TWA counter until three hours before it was scheduled to take off. So I literally spent the first three hours suntanning -- some of Kahului is open-air -- before checking in. Not a bad way to pass the time.

The flight, by the way, wound up being delayed four hours. A major mechanical problem combined with a shortage of mechanics, one of whom had to be helped out of the plane after being doused with hydraulic fluid from a leak, was the culprit.

Then, once the problem was fixed and we boarded, we were delayed another hour because one of the passengers in the back had a few too many beers waiting during the delay and became unruly. And as if that wasn't bad enough, they had to unload the entire load of luggage onto the tarmac to get him his bags and then reload it.

Finally, we get off and into the air for the roughly seven-hour flight (five hours late by this point). They announce the first movie will be Remember The Titans. I'm thinking, 'OK, cool, a movie that I haven't seen.' I start watching it, we get about 15 minutes into it and then boom, the projector breaks. No more movies.

I wound up trying to sleep the rest of the way. Landed in St. Louis just in time to see my connecting flight taking off. I spent the next three hours fuming, although I just so happened to be a gate over from a flight that had about 25 WWE wrestlers (some Divas as well) on it that was deplaning. I thought about asking the Dudley Boyz to put me through a table.

 

Montreal was really bad for a couple of years when they were expanding it, which required tunneling through four miles of alternate corridors.
Now that it's done, it's much better, although designing it length-wise wasn't a brilliant move.
But don't fly Delta. Their gates are at the far, far end.

Believe it or not, Havana is a total piece of cake.