Do you own a suit?

See, I think it's the only instance in life — certain religious events also fall into this category — where what you wear matters. I don't care if people wear cutoffs on the golf course. I don't care if they aren't wearing a blazer to eat at an overpriced steakhouse. I've eaten in Michelin-starred restaurants in shorts before. I don't really care if you're wearing a button-down and pants at a wedding or a graduation.

I've been to funerals where I'm the only person in a suit. I've been to funerals where the deceased asked everyone to wear their favorite Nascar driver's t-shirt. It's not happening. It doesn't change my opinion on the issue. I think there are rare occasions where everyone should be asked to be mindful and respectful, no matter who they are. It's not a position I would've taken when I was younger, but as I go along I'm there now.

 

I remember when I went to this overnight bus trip to Disneyland for HS graduation (1981), it was called Grad Night and live bands played throughout the park and the park was closed for HS s throughout the state. The one condition was that you had to wear a suit (or jacket and slacks) and a tie and the girls had to wear a dress, The unspoken reason was that kids would exhibit better behavior when "dressed up."

The symbolism of a suit/dress does mean something and the majority of people will conform to that expectation.

How if you're penniless, no suit, no problem. But for others, you can get formal wear if you just don't have a few drinks or few coffees or skip going out to dinner or two. Seriously, its amazing how fortunate we are in this country yet we ignore how easily we spend $$. I was at my mom's 80th bday party this weekend and talked about how my mom and dad sacrificed, they NEVER went out to dinner or the bar. Always packed lunch box lunch and coffee in the thermos, didn't buy a new car until I was 18. IMHO its all about sacrifices and choices. Some don't have the same opportunities and that's our collective failure.

 

And, don't get me wrong, we should all be trying to help people who can't afford these things. My wife is so much better at this than me, too. She donates old dresses to organizations for young professionals. We have a growing wardrobe of both men's and women's clothing in an extra closet she's bought for her public defendants out of her own pocket, with me grinding my teeth at the thought of us using our money to put clothes on, say, a methhead who abandoned her child at birth. But she always scolds me and reminds me of why it's important and why that person deserves a fair shot in the courtroom — which isn't possible in the clothes they would otherwise wear.

I see the other side of this argument. Funerals just strike me as a thing we should all be ready for in life. I don't think of it as important in almost any other situation. Just this one, pretty much.