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divorced dads

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by mtvsportswriter, Nov 13, 2010.

  1. mtvsportswriter

    mtvsportswriter New Member

    I'm sure someone here on this message board will relate to me on this issue. Earlier this year my wife and I got a divorce (actually, my wife left me for another guy, but who's counting). We were married for nine years, and together, had one son, who is now eight. We have joint custody, and he lives with her during the week and he stays with me on the weekends. I've been in journalism for 10 years, so I've been in this business longer than I've known her.
    She knows (at least I thought she knew) my routine. This is not a 9-5 job. I get my son on the weekends, as well as Wednesdays for church. But it's like she has totally forgotten the type of schedule I work.
    Is there any divorced dads (and I guess mom's too) that work in this business, and can somewhat relate to this?

    Thanks for taking the time to read, and God bless
  2. HandsomeHarley

    HandsomeHarley Well-Known Member

    I feel for you, guy.

    I was married nearly 23 years. Have a 19-year-old and a 14-year-old autistic boy.

    My ex constantly complained about my schedule. But everyone in the family knew I just wasn't home on Friday nights, with rare exception.

    We shared custody, and I hated giving him back. But now I would be happy to have him and take him back home. Because my ex just moved her and my son halfway across the country.
  3. bigpern23

    bigpern23 Well-Known Member

    I don't get that ... how is it that she can unilaterally decide to move so far away from you that you can't split custody without a plane ticket? Where are your rights in the matter?

    (and forgive me if I'm prying)
  4. HandsomeHarley

    HandsomeHarley Well-Known Member

    I could have fought it, if I could have afforded an attorney. But she lost her job and had nowhere to go except her mother's.

    I decided against fighting it. All it would have done was put me in more debt, and I likely would have lost anyway.
  5. Mizzougrad96

    Mizzougrad96 Active Member

    You were smart not to fight it. But you'd be even smarter to move where he is. I know it's easier said than done. My heart goes out to you.
  6. HandsomeHarley

    HandsomeHarley Well-Known Member

    I fucking hated Oregon.

    With a passion.

    The fact that my ex-wife's evil step-father is still alive aside.

    And I love living in the part of the country in which I grew up.

    We all have choices to make, and we all have to live with those choices.
  7. Double J

    Double J Active Member

    My job certainly didn't help my marriage, but my estranged wife just didn't want the responsibilities that go along with being a wife and a full-time mother. I believe it would have failed regardless of what I did for a living.

    That said, I ditched my dead-end job not long after I ditched the wife and I've never been happier. I have full custody of my sons too.
  8. Yodel

    Yodel Active Member

    My ex ditched me, but that sounds something like my case (sans children). She's already looking for hubby No. 3, as far as I can tell. Not really the kind to stay married long.

    As to the original post, I don't have kids, but I can relate to the pain of being left for someone else. Feel free to PM if you need to.
  9. mtvsportswriter

    mtvsportswriter New Member

    My ex wife wanted to move to Texas (from Illinois where we both live) with her boyfriend (where he is from). I told her she can go, but there's no way I'm going to let her take my son away. Now, she plans on moving about about 60 miles away. I'm checking out my option because she's already told our son that the only time he's going to see me is the summer.
  10. HandsomeHarley

    HandsomeHarley Well-Known Member

    You need a lawyer.

    She can't do that.
  11. Mizzougrad96

    Mizzougrad96 Active Member

    Man, I feel bad for your kids.

    Not that this is any of your fault. Maybe it is, I don't know, but I grew up with divorced parents who hated each other and it sucked. My parents got divorced almost 30 years ago and the only time they've been in the same room together has been my wedding and my sister's wedding. My mom actually reached out and invited my dad to the dinners she was throwing for my sister and I when we graduated from college and he told her to fuck off both times.

    I'm not implying in any way that any of you have done anything wrong, but just think of your kids and take the high road whenever possible. Take it from me, you can do damage now that can never be undone.
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