Depression, Part II

Uh ... I'm with you, Cadet, right up to the can of Raid.

 

Shotty - how about a big 60" Sony HD TV to cure all lifes problems

 

I can't imagine somebody still doing the "snap out of it" thing. I bounce in and out of rasslin' the big black dog myself. It's not fun, and I don't always win. What I do is I walk until I can't move. Just empty my mind and go. I also fence, so hooking up with the epee and clearing everything out of the mind except moves and countermoves -- and my horseshit footwork -- is helpful as well.
As for pharmaceuticals, I haven't tried them. Not because I'm opposed in anyway. My therapist doesn't believe in them for someone like me.
Stay in there, hb. Any world that has Ovechkin in it is worth hanging around.

 

Can't hurt, my man. Cannot hurt.

 

I haven't beaten depression, but I'm finally making some progress after really hitting bottom last year when my depression (and related heavy drinking) got out of control. I watched both my parents lose the battle (no suicides, just having shitty lives) and I try to remember that genetics aren't necessarily in my favor, so I must be vigorous in my efforts.

Things that have helped me consistently: private spirituality, physical activity, psychotherapy, massage therapy.

Things that have helped some times, not helped at others: organized religion, romance and friendships, family, work, literature and other art, creative writing. These have been sources of joy, but I'm careful not to depend on them too much.

Things that have not helped at all: alcohol abuse, meaningless sex.

Excellent posts here, particularly Alma's. Facing your demons may not sound pleasant, and our culture tends to scoff at introspection as narcissism- particularly if you're a man- but traveling to the center of your being will probably be necessary. There's a reason myths around the world have stories of heroes like Beowulf who travel to a mysterious, dangerous place to face an unknown foe, fight a hard battle and win. It's a shared archetype because it's a journey many people have to take.

The most encouraging thing I can offer is that good patterns are as habit-forming and as prone to accumulate momentum as the bad ones. Each good thought or action increases the likelihood of another one in the future. Major transformation is possible.

 

Interesting post, Irish. I actually have never thought of Beowulf as a model for the battle. (In fact, whenever I need a mental "unpacking", Descartes is my model for breaking down and then building back up.)

But I echo those thoughts. It is a battle -- every damn day.

It helps to know that when you've gotten through it once, you have personal experience to show you that you can get through it again. Sometimes, that's important. Sometimes, you just need to get through each day -- fight through each day -- and give yourself a chance for the next day.

In that way, it's like golf. You can play 17 horrendous holes, and then that one beautiful tee shot to the green on No. 18 will stick in your mind forever, and you'll come back and play again tomorrow.

Life is funny like that sometimes. Hang in there, HB. We're with you, man.

 

If you find the Beowulf reference intriguing, pick up a copy of "If You Meet the Buddha On the Road, Kill Him!" I wouldn't be surprised to learn writing irish has read it.

 

I haven't read that book, but I've heard the title. It always sounded like a slogan used by the French Situationists in the 68 uprising. Perhaps I should read it.

Best of luck, HB.

 

I hate that you are suffering, dude. Really, I do.

I have a close relative that suffers much like you. I have no idea if this can work for you, but it has helped her.

Work out. A lot.

She, and her doctor, think there is a chemical change she gets from a hard, physical work out. She goes to the gym every day -- sometimes twice a day -- and claims to have a significantly better mood for a few hours after each workout.

I'm not a professional by any means, but it seems to be working well for her.

That, and take your meds.

 

I recommend it, writing irish, but it's probably not something HB should read right now. Later, when he's feeling a bit better, it can lay the groundwork for helping him the next time he might hit a wall, but right now it's probably not the right resource for him. You and buckweaver and others who are doing better and interested in exploring the mythology of mental health should find it highly engaging.

HB, I echo the encouragement of the others here. Let me know if I can help.

 

Fencing? Now that sounds cool. I'm always going to imagine you fencing now. Fencing George W. Bush, in fact.

One other thing I've read many times is forcing yourself to smile works. Something about the muscles you use to smile get into a habit or whatever. I've never tried it and can't vouch for it, but nothing sounds less labor intensive, so what the heck?

 

HB-I think anyone who has known you here over the last four years, through a lot stuff, good and bad, will agree with me on this:

You have struggled with this for a long time, and you need more than a weekly therapy appointment. Please, please see a doctor....depression is a medical problem, and there's so much help for you out there. You have lived with this too long to let it go on another day. Get some real help, not from a message board, and know that a lot of people care.