Depressing Christmas Songs

Love that Carpenters tune. Karen just nails the hauntingly lonely song and the sax solo is icing on the cake.

Christmas Shoes is more amusing than anything else, especially when you see people get emotional over that dreck.

 

He probably was looking for a word that rhymes with lie, since that's the last word of the next line.

The message, to me, is clear: she was content. Not in love, probably not happy, but content where she was in life.

 

That gets me, too. There are only a few Christmas songs that are good, and fewer good singers, which is why my list to Santa always includes rocket launchers for stations that start playing Christmas music on Halloween. He hasn't come through yet, and i'm starting to become suspicious.

 

Not sure if there are any Pogues (great band) fans on the board but I think this duet ranks pretty high on the depressing scale.

Fairytale of New York

Youre a bum
Youre a punk
Youre an old slut on junk
Lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed
You scumbag, you maggot
You cheap lousy faggot
Happy christmas your arse
I pray God its our last

 

Holly Jolly Christmas

 

Lonely Holiday — Old 97s

 

If We Make it Through December -- Merle Haggard

If we make it through December
Everythings gonna be all right I know
It's the coldest time of winter
And I shivver when I see the fallin snow

If we make it through December
I got plans of bein in a warmer town come summer time
Maybe even California
If we make it through December we'll be fine

I got laid off down at the factory
And there timings not the greatest in the world
Heaven knows I been workin' hard
I wanted Christmas to be right for daddy's girl
Now I don't mean to hate December
It's meant to be the happy time of year
And why my little girl don't understand
Why daddy can't afford no Christmas here

If we make it through December
Everythings gonna be alright I know
It's the coldest time of winter
And I shivver when I see the fallin' snow

If we make it through December
I got plans of bein' in a warmer town come summer time
Maybe even California
If we make it through December we'll be fine

 

Fogelbungle's opus is the runaway winner in this category. It's musical mush. The lyrics are maudlin when they're not being stupid, and they're almost always being stupid. (What town in America is it where you can find a packy open but not a bar?) The opening verse, where he makes sure that we know that he met her in the frozen food aisle gets things off to s orry start, and then there's that verse where we are told that she's stuck in a loveless affluent marriage when she knows she should have married a folksinging fathead who thinks "the snow turned into rain" makes him a poet as long as he follows it with a blob-sax riff that makes Kenny G sound like John Coltrane.
It is also depressing because the late Mr. Fungelberger and I are of the same species, and that makes me sad.

 

You Must Go Home for Christmas -- Darryl Purpose

I get teary near the end of this song every time.

 

Sadly, an appropriate pull

 

"Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)," by Darlene Love is one of my favorites, but if you listen to the lyrics it's a pretty damn depressing song.

Also, "Please Come Home for Christmas," by the Eagles.

 

There is no reason on this or any other planet for there to be any version of the latter except the one released in 1960 by Charles Brown, who co-wrote it with Gene Redd.

It's largely a Southern tradition, and I listen to it often every December. Enjoy.