Debate: Should she return the engagement ring?

Interesting that this has sparked a debate with friends. Dude's suing his ex-fiancee after she won't return the $17,000 engagement ring. Pretty funny how it's breaking down among my friends — almost all women saying it's a unconditional gift, while the guys say "no wedding, no ring." What say you, SportsJournalists.com?

http://news.cincinnati.com/article/20110509/NEWS010702/105100309/Man-sues-ex-fianc-17-000-ring?odyssey=tab|topnews|text|News

I'm siding with the fellas, here. That's an awfully expensive item for her to expect to keep no matter what.

 

No wedding, no ring. Miss Manners, Dear Abby and Ann Landers all agree with this.

However, if he gave her the ring on a gift-giving occasion (Valentine's Day, Christmas, her birthday, etc.) then the ring could be considered a gift and not just a symbol of their commitment to be married.

 

Who are these women you know who say she should keep the ring? You should run from them, very far, very fast.

 

Bang.
No way she should keep the ring.

 

A friend of the family had been married for 20+ years when she suspected her husband was cheating on her. She hired a PI and in the span of a month, photographed him with three different women.

Her wedding ring was a three carat diamond that had been in HIS family for several generations. It's worth approximately $50K.

When her husband called HIS mother to tell him he was getting a divorce. The first thing she said to him was, "You better get that ring back."

The wife told her husband that when she got the pictures from the PI she threw the ring into the field behind their house. He spent days out there with a metal detector and I think even hired some company that helps find stuff like that. They didn't find the ring.

That was probably because the wife had put the ring in a safety deposit box. She told my mother (her best friend), "I'll give the ring to my daughter when she gets married, but he will never get it back."

 

They seem to want her to have the ring awfully bad. All sorts of "if's" being thrown in there — not after two years, not if he really loved her, not if he's the one who broke things off, etc.

Seems pretty clear to me, though, and I wouldn't even concede the "gift from a holiday" exemption that Wretch presented.

 

Why would you want a ring that reminds you of someone who broke off an engagement?

 

$17K can buy a lot of red wine and bonbons to drown those sorrows.

 

Legally, I don't think he has a case. But hopefully, this hubub will give her prospective future suitors pause.

 

She should buy a giant dog and feed the ring to it. Then she should give the dog to her ex-fiancee and say, "How badly do you want it back?"

 

My stance, when I divorced, was this: Once we were at the altar and said "I do", the ring was hers. She offered to give me back her rock, and I politely declined. Whether it ended up at the pawn shop or in a safe to give to her first-born daughter to the doctor she later married, I have no idea ...

Before that, though, I see the ring is essentially part of the contract to marry. Should that contract fall through, then the symbol gets returned.

rb