Dear Pizza delivering schmuck that lives in my building

I had this happen to me 4 years ago. We have a small driveway and four spots available to three connected townhomes. I parked my car and blocked the pussy in for three days. Finally he came over and asked why he was blocked. He bought a snow blower and now clears the 4 spots every snow storm.

 

for what?

 

Hey as long as we're bitching about neighbors....

Dear Jamacians living across the hall from me-

TURN OFF THE FUCKING MUSIC! NO ONE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR CRAP! AND SERIOUSLY, IT'S NOT 2001 ANYMORE, THERE'S NO NEED FOR TRACKS LIKE "BIG PIMPING" AND "BACK THAT ASS UP". OH, AND ENOUGH WITH THE YELLING. WE GET IT, YOU'RE FUCKING LOUD!"

Actually, that felt kind of good. Excuse me while I wait for them to do something else to piss me off.

 

I have a story that has nothing to do with snow in apartment parking lots, just idiots parking in apartment lots.

One day I got a call from apartment management at about 8 am (which is early to me), asking if I drove a black altima (or somesuch). I said no and asked why. She told me that it was blocking in three different cars because the guy didn't bother finding a parking spot when he'd come home from the bars the night before, he just parked right behind three cars. I think they had to tow it because people needed to get to work.

 

Just yell, "bloodclot!" across the hall and see what happens.

 

Or KILL WHITEY!!!!!!!!

 

Blast Eric Clapton's version of "I Shot The Sheriff." Guaranteed to drive 'em nuts.

Or better yet, if you can't sing, try warbling a particularly off-key version yourself. Loudly. They might get the hint.

 

You said you had a guy threaten to sue you once. Why did he threaten to sue? Just curious...

 

same reason as what you posted.

 

"So I was driving in the heart of Alabama and my car broke down in the middle of a Klu Klux Klan Rally. The leader comes up to me and said "boy, you're in the wrong area because we're fixing to have a necktie party and you have a perfect neck." So I looked at him and I didn't think he knew I was Jamaican. So I said..."You want to bombacla hang me? You want to tie that stinking rope around my neck? You want to bombacla kill me? Bloodclot." He just looked at me and said, "Well, son, we didn't know you was Ja-Maican. How about we fix up your car and help you out?"

Def Comedy Jam at its finest.