Dear Pizza delivering schmuck that lives in my building

I usually just have my dorky buddy lie down in the spot until I get back. It works fine for me.

 

I can't decide whether that's just waaay TMI or a brilliant idea.

And I just realized you made JLH month the shortest month of the year. Dick.

 

You have friends dorkier than you? That's frightening. Are they obsessed with Webster or Mama's Family or something?

 

sorry man. but you can count on JLH making an appearance in march ... although it will be late march. she'll be in the final four.

 

Most of them enjoy the same things I enjoy, though I actually study the sitcoms and they actually ... date and do date-like things.

But that was a riff on Saved By The Bell. Zack has Screech lie in his parking spot at school. They complement each other.

 

I'm sorry I lacked the cultural refinement to recognize that.

 

Every weekday morning from 6 to 8 on the East, The Bell plays. It won't hurt you to study.

 

Actually it would hurt me quite a lot.

 

Oh, OK. Then I suggest you not study. We don't need a poster in pain.

 

Fuck snow. And fuck the high-teens windchill down here.

THIS IS THE SOUTH, DAMNIT!

 

I've gotta go with spnited on this one.

Then again, I'm the asshole who's about to write: I love my garage and that my driveway is on the sunny side of the street.

 

Because the solutions proposed here make for great comedy