Dear Pizza delivering schmuck that lives in my building

I know you'll find this hard to believe, but when I went outside this afternoon and busted my ass for 45 minutes shoveling seven inches of snow that was weighed down with a half-inch of sleet from around my car it was not so that your stupid-assed hideous green car would have a nice, expansive place to park. I did it in order to get MY vehicle (you know, the one that has been occupying that space since Noah's Ark was just some fuckin 2 x 4's) out so that I could take it to work. I also removed that snow to ensure that I could get MY car (you know, the one that's been sleeping in the same spot for roughly 256 consecutive days) back into the space.

I've also noticed that YOUR parking space has nothing in it but a helluva lotta snow. Might I suggest that you use some of that energy that you use to screw about six different women (in addition to your girlfriend) and have parties that START at 3:30 a.m. to start digging.

 

Are parking spots assigned? If they are I'd have his ass towed.

 

Is there a bitch wagon in your parking spot?

 

unfortunately no. I just love that people just assume a spot when they move somewhere and park there religiously...until it snows. Then it becomes whatever's available until the snow melts because some people simply cant be bothered with snow removal. There was about a two-week span last year when I didnt park in my traditional spot because a guy from half a block away kept going, "hey! Clean space" and threw his shit in there. Then, when the snow melted from his place, he went away.

Every year there's an article on someone getting pissed and pulling a gun on someone who takes a parking space that's been dug out after a snowstorm. EVery year, like CHris Rock, I dont condone it....but I understand.

 

If parking spaces aren't assigned, you've got no beef.

If they were assigned, then you have every right to complain.

 

You got p0wned.

 

I like this idea.

 

Don't be such a wuss. Slash his tires.