Dear Northwestern Forum ...

I bet you won't believe this because, after all, Northwestern is one of the world's great universities and has an impressive record of intellectual contributions, all resting on a commitment to an environment of freedom of inquiry and expression. But a few months ago, I wrote an article about how I came to the realization, after I'd been paralyzed, that I still had some pop in the old pickle. And, believe it or not, this article ruffled many a feather in the hallowed halls of dear old NWU.

Faculty members claim university made them remove a controversial journal issue from its website | InsideHigherEd

 

Sounds like paralysis by oralysis.

 

High five, dq! Good job for sticking it out.

Glad the article is back online, if I read that correctly.

 

Wait a minute ... I was channeling the author of the piece. I am not the author of the piece. I don't identify as a paralyzed person ...

 

Yeah, sure, we'll see when the disabled parking is all that's left at Disney World.

 

Best wishes, Quant. Sorry to hear about your horrible accident.

 

Memo to self: When writing a pretend open letter, make sure the fact that it's pretend is obvious.

 

High five, dq! Congrats on not being paralyzed.

Sorry to hear you weren't involved with the head nurse.

 

Best wishes, Quant. Remember, your life is not over because you're in a wheelchair.

You can even play basketball again if you work hard at it. Just aim high.

 

Clear eyes, full hearts can't lose.

 

Oh, Lyla Garrity, head nurse. Mmmmmmmmm ...