Dear Chuck Klosterman...

mikey, i already posted the questions earlier on a link.

 

Mikey's already living No. 15.

 

I didn't want to click on any links, so there we go.

 

1. Einstein.
2. No.
3. Skull.
4. No. (Is that question racist?)
5. No. I don't believe in one soulmate anyway.
6. Can't remember my dreams, but I don't mind. So, no VCR.
7. CP: Loch Ness. (Better art.) Lede: President.
8. Hell no. (She already puts up with my obsession anyway! )
9. Increase. I dig crime novels.
10. Never read the book, so pass.
11. Leave. If the feeling's that strong, leave.
12. $8.
13. How to make a drink that knocks you out. And then drink it.
14. They'd enjoy it. Garfield rules.
15. What Pallister said (writing down everything important I can think of.)
16. Sure. But can my brain handle CFL and deadball baseball? Or should that go on the brain tumor question?
17. Man with no past. The past makes you who you are.
18. Year in Europe.
19. Wasn't me.
20. Documentary.
21. About a year earlier.
22. The one everyone assumes is factual.
23. John Ritter's still dead.

 

Well, 90210 has a fairly small cast, so not everybody got to be somebody. I think Staubach was Brandon, which is pretty obvious, but there was a lot more to debate on this subject than you'd think.

 

Who was Andrea?

 

Landry might have been Andrea. I don't remember. It was a drunken conversation three or four years ago.

 

Who was Mel Silver?

 

Rafael Septien.

 

Cool. What about the girl who slept with David in the limo?

 

D.D. Lewis

 

Chuckles gave a nice shoutout to Ryan Adams a couple Esquires back. That's cool with me. He also had a nice little essay on the built-in drama of baseball. I thought it was spot-on.

1. Einstein.
2. Yes. Looks like someone remembers Omelas from freshman lit. And the correct answer is stay.
3. Hitler’s skull
4. Depends. Is the gorilla really Patrick Ewing or one of his kids?
5. Yes
6. No. I do not want to see myself having sex, let alone others.
7. Split the front with photos of Nessie and and Bigfoot in the first four columns and the president goes in columns five and six, with a three deck hed and a subhed[/newspaper nerd]
8. I do not know what the Dark Crystal is, so maybe.
9. I would only read the book if it was written by Esquire writer-at-large Chris Jones or Dave Eggers, who I would go gay for. But I do not think his wife would like that much.
10. I vaguely remember both, and don’t still own the Heart album, but I might possibly have in the 80s. I would think that the correct answer is neither.
11. I have a cellphone and like a million siblings. Somebody would call, or I would call them or just call my mom.
12. I am already handsome. That is what my mom, who is still alive — asshole for making me think she had died — says. So I would give him 14 dollars and 37 cents.
13. The girl I am dating would have no one there, so suck it Chuck. As for me, I would skip that shit. If I still wanted to see those bitches, we would still be dating. But if forced to speak, I would say that the virgin is a better lover than all of them and then break into a freeverse poetry slam.
14. The smart cats would dig Boondocks and loath Garfield. But some smart cats would find Garfield enjoyable on certain levels. “He is a cat that eats lasagna.”
15. Making my funeral arrangements.
16. My love of CFL football would be totally ironic, so no.
17. Pretty damn full for an empty bar and the guy doing the talk.
18. The moon. No question.
19. Tell them that I tripped over their dumb ass since it was asleep on the living room floor.
20. The documentary. The Hollywood movie could never top my real life.
21. Later. I would not be as fascinated by sex.
22. The gambling one.
23. Ritters kids think you are a dick.