Dean Youngblood

How did this guy ever not become a huge star in the NHL? He dates the coach's hot daughter, scores the game-winning goal in the championship game and beats up Racki? This guy would have been a perfect linemate for Gretzky and Messier. Thank God Vs. is showing his bio again right now. What an inspiration!

 

What that bio doesn't tell you is that he knocked up Jessie Chadwick during the off-season, so Mad Dog Murray paid him a little visit on the farm. Pretty soon Kelly wasn't the only disabled Youngblood son, and so much for the NHL career.

At least Derek Sutton made a name for himself, although it didn't happen until after he'd changed it to Dalton. But that's another story for another time.

 

Nice.

 

That's not what I heard. Way it's been told to me, Sutton never was the same after he hurt his head. He changed, big time. His hockey skills never came back, and he started preaching to everyone he met about how they should seize the day and live every day like it's their last.
He moved to California and took up surfing, then things got messy. He hooked up with some like-minded individuals. Real macho assholes with a death wish. They robbed more than 30 banks successfully before one went bad. Sutton was wanted for multiple counts of murder and eventually went underground. An FBI agent named Utah (who had a remarkably similar backstory) tracked him down to Australia, but Sutton was apparently killed when he tried to surf a 500-foot wave.
I'd call it a tragic story. But it's not tragic to die doing what you love.

 

word on the street is he survived the wave and is a Chip n' Dales dancer after winning a rugged dance off with a man by the name of Barney.

 

I'd heard some rumors like that, too. The Chip n' Dales thing led to a more respectable gig at a bank, and he hooked up with a chick named Molly. Didn't work out, though. He got shot in a holdup and died. Molly went insane and kept saying she could see his ghost, but it turns out some lesbian psychic who wanted to get in her pants was just telling her that.
Just as well. That rumor sounds too ridiculous to be true.

 

Well, the rumor I heard was that Sutton was so messed up he started dressing in women's clothing and taking cross-country trips. Even weirder, after an episode with a psychotic baseball fan, former SF Giants player Bobby Rayburn and his agent joined him to form quite a transvestite trio.

 

Oh, yeah, Youngblood -- Hell of a player, could really put the puck in the net.

(I only saw it once! That's the only line I really remember.)

 

So you're saying his skills went downhill after his last junior season as a 30-year-old? Talk about being overage ...

 

Just hit it, pillowhands. It won't hit you back.

 

I think Youngblood ended up with the Tallahassee Warthogs.

 

Kelly had some fantastic lines, like when he yelled at the lard-ass in the championship game.