Dating sites

scattered dalliances since the last relationship -- and i use that term loosely -- 4 years ago. one of them during pillow talk told me she wondered what it would be like to be in a relationship with me, but i told her i didn't feel the same about her. people say i'm too picky and that time's passing me by.

 

I met my bride-to-be on eharmony. I tried match and yahoo, but didn't have any success. Eharmony was more expensive (two years ago, $99 for 3 months), but considering we'll be married at the end of July, I consider it the best $99 I ever spent.

 

OK, Phila. Here is my more than two cents on on line dating.

I did it on and off for about four years. I started some very good relationships (few months, a year and now the current Mrs.) through on line dating.

I do not shit where I eat and bars were tough.

I would say on line is the way to go, but here are some warnings.

1. Be up front and honest to the woman. If there is anything in her profile you are weary about (three kids, tats, washes dishes at Denny's, etc...), do not waste your time with her.

2. The first time you meet, do something small. Go to get coffee or do a small lunch. Do not invest a 40-50 dollar meal in some lady who you think is coach but winds up needing the business class. She also may not dig you either. No need to waste money.

3. Get the meeting out of the way early. Just approach it as wanting to see if there is a spark.

4. Never cross state lines for a woman and never let one cross state lines for you. There always is a reason why they are traveling to meet you, and it is never good.


8. Now this is the only real negative of Match (my preferred). Have you ever been in a bar where it is a total cock fest? You are chatting a girl up, and you go to a bar to get her a drink and another guy has already swooped in? Welcome to on line dating.

You will not be the only one talking with them. You are in competition with a bunch of other men. This is the reason why you will take a woman out a couple of times and then they will just dissappear. They met someone better. It sucks. They will always be waiting for that doctor who wrote them once to write back.

Do not feel guilty about dating a few women off of there at once. They will probably be doing it to you.

9. Get ready to spend a lot of your free time trying to meet them. Emailing, calling, etc...

10. This all said, it's worth it.

Enjoy.

 

I'll second what dude said earlier about how tough it's gotten for some reason. I met my wife in college. She it was so easy. I guess peeps are way more skeptical or finicky than they used to be because I certainly was no superstar back then. Now I am. Doesn't matter now, though.

Anyway, I hope you all find what you need. And want. xoxoxo

 

I met the Mrs. ByDesign77 on yahoo personals.

Most of the advice here has been solid. A couple of more bits:

1. Make sure you have a picture up of you, and at least one of your face (like a mug). For me, the body of a girl isn't the end all to the relationship (I like them varied anyway, which probably explains why I got lucky more often than most guys). You're going to be looking at that person's face more than anything (at least you should) so for their sakes, and yours, get a mug up there.

2. Don't be ashamed in sending a second e-mail to someone if you never receive a reply. Wait a few weeks before you do that, but sometimes things get lost, she may have forgot to write back because when she got your message, the microwave beeped and then she was kicked off the net and decided to go watch "King of Queens" and totally forgot you. Remember, she's on there for a reason, too, presumably, and most will at least send back a not interested note if they're not. Had I not sent out the second e-mail a month later, I wouldn't have met my wife.

3. Meet most of them, even if your gut says, "Well, maybe not." Meeting in person still ranks higher than online. That's the chance of getting to know them personally. I went out with some that I felt would be awesome and they sucked (no, not that kind unfortunately) and vice versa.

4. I know it's been said, but be honest, don't cross state lines and go cheap Date 1.

 

It's because we meet too many fucks who think their shit don't stink, and we're smart enough to realize we don't have to settle for that.

Personally, I don't think anyone should get married before 30. Sure, sometimes the sweethearts who are planning their wedding to coincide with their high school graduation are soul mates and are set for life. But more often than not those in the 18-24 crowd get married for the wrong reasons, and then it doesn't end well. As someone said earlier, it takes time to figure out what it is you truly want in a relationship.

 

Good advice from Moddy. To further the baseball analogy, remember that slumps are just part of the game for normal folks.

Met my wife when I was 34. If there were online dating sites before that, they did me no good as I had no computer and did not know about them.

I had to learn to relax about it and not approach every first date or even every meeting as if it had potential. Not be negative, but keep in mind that most were doomed to failure, so keep things light at first. Probably the woman is as nervous or more nervous than you. Forget yourself and focus on trying to make her as comfortable as possible -- focusing on her will let you lose any self-consciousness and you will seem less self-absorbed.

I liked dinner dates. I like food, did not really enhance my cooking skills until my very late 20s and figured I was probably going to eat at a restaurant anyway, so this was just eating at a restaurant with a woman instead of by myself. Enjoy it. Had some blind dates in which I knew there'd be no second date -- either I wasn't interested or I could sense she wasn't -- but what the hell, be a gentleman, enjoy the meal, try to have some kind of an interesting conversation, it's better than sitting at home.

 

93devil's post was right on. The refusing-to-poop-where-you-eat line is the straight dope. I learned my lesson about that, the hard way (though I admit to looking around and saying "what if ... ?" on occasion).

PhilaYank, I respect you, but also your "drought" details don't really add to your saleability. I mean, I wouldn't go out on a date with (add name of SportsJournalists.com female poster here) and say, "hey baby, wanna do the horizontal tango? It's been three months!"