crossed giblets of death, 2011

i've been blessed. since eldest shockey heir arrived in '90, i haven't had to miss a thanksgiving. plenty of christmas/new year's but no turkey day.

 

Wow, that's impressive. During my 13 years in the business, I'll bet I had one or two off.

 

I am going to be doing that with my 90-year-old grandmother. Good times.

The shitfaced part. Not the grabassing.

 

I shall suggest this to #2 son - - the chef. My responsibility is the smoker and the wood that makes the smoker function properly. Oh, yeah ... and I get to select the wine to go with the dinner.

 

After two straight Thanksgivings off, I'm back in the saddle at work again this year. And somehow got stuck organizing the office potluck. (Mainly because no one else will). Fiance and I will travel to Ohio for Thanksgiving with my family Saturday. Have to work Christmas too but we'll spend the week after Christmas with his family.

 

Had everything planned, southern-style turkey bought from The Salk Lick in Driftwood, TX...went to order the bird...which was around 50 bucks...but forgot to tell the wife about shipping. ANOTHER 44 BUCKS!

Sorry, not paying almost 100 bucks for 4 lbs of turkey! Had to go back to the drawing board and do the normal crap and it's only for 3 people. Ever try to find a 8 lbs bird? We were lucky to find one that was only 11!

 

Guess I can embarrass myself now... I've worked every Thanksgiving Day for the last 25 years ago and will make it 26 next week.

A few years ago, I tried cooking my first turkey. After several hours, I said to myself, "WTF is that smell?!?!"

Sigh... no one ever told me I was supposed to take the insides out before cooking.

Needless to say, ever since then, it's been sliced turkey breast from the deli, covered with instant mashed, a bag of rolls and a can of cranberries.

Yes, I know, looser, I be... carry on.

 

Last year was my first Thanksgiving alone. I didn't have the time to make the cross-state trip to see the fam and I spend almost two weeks with them at Christmas, so no big deal. My cousin, who I usually spend the day with, decided to take his family out to see his mother and stepfather. And my roommate decided to spend the holiday with her boyfriend's family. So I got a Hormel microwave turkey dinner, Bob Evans potatoes and watched football all day. I could have done worse.

This year, in the new house, my roomie wants to have Thanksgiving here. She wants to try and deep fry a turkey (and there's a big concrete pad out in the back yard where there used to be a garage, so at least she can make it halfway safe). So it will be me, her, her mom, her daughter and son and a grandson. And then my mom wants to come out the next day.

My "classic" turkey day story is from the year I volunteered to fill in for the sister paper's SE at the Broncos-Chiefs Thanksgiving game. The buffet was OK and the game was pretty good. Not awesome. Not bad. At the end of the game, after the post-game conference, I went back up to the box for my stuff and thought I might slip over to see if there are some leftovers and get a bite before I head out. I changed my mind when I saw Jason Whitlock picking through what's left of the turkey with his bare hands.

 

First part of the family and the two cats arrived tonight, which means I had to shut down the main part of my house for normal people to sleep and am currently babysitting the cats, who are in the "feeling out" process with my beast. No blood yet, but there's still plenty of night left.

Bought a turkey last year, but with only three people, it's always way too much. So we're going maple-glazed pork roast this year in an attempt not to fill my freezer with enough food to last through the next nuclear war.

 

My parents moved back into the area so Mrs. Hondo and I are serving them, her mother, the 38-year old brother who still lives with his mother, and two more friends. But my 22 year old daughter informed us that she's going to the boyfriend's house for dinner, the first time we haven't had her for a major holiday. Trying to get past that. When she told me I felt like Steve Martin in Father of the Bride.

 

My mom and I will celebrate Thanksgiving with my aunt and uncle a couple of hours away. My aunt is an excellent cook, so the food will be fabulous for the first time since my grandmother got ill and had to cede holiday cooking to my mom. Our family is tiny, but my aunt invites a (thankfully unrelated) army -- and still manages to make more desserts than people at the event.

I will eat a lot (and pack up enough leftovers for the rest of the weekend) and read a lot. I will also, hopefully, watch football with my uncle and cousin. And I get to take my furcousin, a rescued chocolate lab, out for long walks when the human portion of the family threatens to overwhelm me.

 

Welcome to why I always, ALWAYS, went to Subway or ate at home before a game.