Could you spare a moment for a newbie?

And a Canadian one at that...

I'm new to the field, having gone into journalism after spending several years in another field. I'm desperate to get better so I can move up in the chain I currently work in.

I was reading this thread for a few weeks prior to the server change and have learned a great deal from it. When I looked for something to have critiqued, I wanted to present something that required a fair amount of reporting and that was written on deadline. When I was on internship, I received an e-mail from the ME assigning me this piece for the next day's front section. It was at 3 p.m., which left me scrambling to get a hold of the right people before the workday was over. I was also scheduled to cover a lacrosse game that evening at 8 p.m., so I had to write quick.

Please note that the piece was written to conform to CP rules rather than AP--think coloUr, laboUr, etc.

 

Knowing the score
A stick in the eye sent NHLer Saku Koivu to hospital and opened a debate on face protection in hockey

DUANE ROLLINS
Guelph Mercury
April 28, 2006

It was a sight hockey fans have become far too familiar with.

During the second period of Wednesday's NHL playoff game between the Montreal Canadiens and Carolina Hurricanes, Montreal captain Saku Koivu was clipped near the left eye by Hurricane forward Justin Williams's stick. Despite Koivu wearing a half shield for facial protection, he was removed from the ice with blood visible in his eye.

Koivu spent the night in a Montreal hospital and it is not known when, or if, he will be able to play again.

Over the past few years there has been several similar incidents, causing some people to call for the mandatory use of visors by players at all levels of the sport. Currently, full face masks are required for players in minor hockey and half visors must be worn by those playing junior hockey. However, most men's leagues do not require players to wear face protection.

Players must wear full cages at all levels of women's hockey.

The president of the Canadian Safety Council, Emile Therien, says it's a mistake to play hockey without face protection.

Therien, who’s son Chris plays for the Philadelphia Flyers, says most eye injuries could be prevented by the use of full shields.

"There can be no rational argument against wearing a shield -- none.

"When you think about what an eye injury can do to your life -- you can't drive a car, you may not be able to work, your social life is impacted -- it's just not a risk worth playing."

And, according to Canadian Adult Recreational Hockey Association president Mike Peski, fewer recreational players are.

"It's just a case that they grew up with the mentality that you wear face protection," Peski said. "People realize that you only have one set of eyes and one set of teeth."

Peski says his organization has seen "a noticeable shift" towards the wearing of both full and half visors. The adult recreational hockey association requires its 140,000 members to wear a half cage and mouth guard to qualify for full insurance benefits.

Still, accidents happen. And when they do, Peski says they typically happen to a player's face.

You don't have to tell that to Guelph recreational hockey player Doug Fudge. Over the past couple years, Fudge, 36, has seen two serious injuries in games he's been involved in. On one occasion a player badly cut his lip and on another a player broke several teeth.

"You would be silly not to wear a cage," Fudge said yesterday while playing pick-up hockey at the University of Guelph.

"I've seen a lot that could have been prevented if people were wearing full cages."

Fudge, who has been playing hockey for 30 years, has never played without a full cage.

"It's just never been an issue with me. I'm comfortable wearing the mask. It's all I've ever known."

Players like Fudge would have been in the minority several years ago. However, Simon Johnson of Winning Attitude Sports in Guelph says that's changing.

He says the store has seen a "considerable increase" in sales of half visors in recent years. He attributes that increase to both changing attitudes toward visors and because of high-profile injuries to NHL players.

"It used to have a negative connotation to wear a visor," Johnson said. "Now, it doesn't really anymore.

"Visors have become kind of like just another piece of equipment for a lot of guys. With the new styles and technologies it's almost part of the look now."

Johnson says one thing that prevents more players from wearing facial protection is the perception that they won't be able to see the play as well. Actually, it's that belief that prevents him from wearing one.

"I choose not to wear a cage for performance reasons. For me, I'm not comfortable in one.

"It's tough to go back to a cage if you haven't been wearing one for a while, or if you have never worn one."

Therien said an improvement in the quality of visors is a key to increasing the amount of players who use them. However, he suggests that there are some people that will never be convinced of the necessity of face shields.

"There are dinosaurs -- you will never change that. Actually, if you look at the reasons why most older guys put a mask on it has nothing to do with a concern for their own safety.

"It was because of their wife."

Although no one wants to see a player get hurt, advocates for face protection will take advantage of an injury like Koivu's.

"What happened is unfortunate, but if it takes something like what happened to Koivu to get the message out there then we will take advantage of it," Peski said.

"We wouldn't go out and play without a helmet anymore. So why not protect our face as well?"

 

I put my comments and corrections in bold And these are just my first impressions.

It was a sight hockey fans have become far too familiar with.

Your lead is cliche and ended in a preposition.

During the second period of Wednesday's NHL playoff game between the Montreal Canadiens and Carolina Hurricanes, Montreal captain Saku Koivu was clipped near the left eye by Hurricane forward Justin Williams' stick. Despite Koivu wearing a half shield for facial protection, he was removed from the ice with blood visible in his eye.

Koivu spent the night in a Montreal hospital and it is not known when, or if, he will be able to play again.

Over the past few years there have been several similar incidents, causing some people to call for the mandatory use of visors by players at all levels of the sport. Currently, full face masks are required for players in minor hockey and half visors must be worn by those playing junior hockey. However, most men's leagues do not require players to wear face protection.

Players must wear full cages at all levels of women's hockey.

The president of the Canadian Safety Council, Emile Therien, says it's a mistake to play hockey without face protection.

Therien, whose son Chris plays for the Philadelphia Flyers, says most eye injuries could be prevented by the use of full shields.

"There can be no rational argument against wearing a shield -- none," Therien said. "When you think about what an eye injury can do to your life -- you can't drive a car, you may not be able to work, your social life is impacted -- it's just not a risk worth playing. Is this accurate? Wouldn't he have said taking?."

And, according to Canadian Adult Recreational Hockey Association president Mike Peski, fewer recreational players are.

"It's just a case that they grew up with the mentality that you wear face protection," Peski said. "People realize that you only have one set of eyes and one set of teeth."

Peski says his organization has seen "a noticeable shift" toward the wearing of both full and half visors. The adult recreational hockey association requires its 140,000 members to wear a half cage and mouth guard to qualify for full insurance benefits.

Still, accidents happen. And when they do, Peski says they typically happen to a player's face.

You don't have to tell that to Guelph recreational hockey player Doug Fudge. Over the past couple years, Fudge, 36, has seen two serious injuries in games in which he's been involved. On one occasion a player badly cut his lip and on another a player broke several teeth.

"You would be silly not to wear a cage," Fudge said yesterday while playing pick-up hockey at the University of Guelph.

"I've seen a lot that could have been prevented if people were wearing full cages."

Fudge, who has been playing hockey for 30 years, has never played without a full cage.

"It's just never been an issue with me. I'm comfortable wearing the mask. It's all I've ever known."

Players like Fudge would have been in the minority several years ago. However, Simon Johnson of Winning Attitude Sports in Guelph says that's changing.

He says the store has seen a "considerable increase" in sales of half visors in recent years. He attributes that increase to both changing attitudes toward visors and because of high-profile injuries to NHL players.

"It used to have a negative connotation to wear a visor," Johnson said. "Now, it doesn't really anymore.

"Visors have become kind of like just another piece of equipment for a lot of guys. With the new styles and technologies it's almost part of the look now."

Johnson says one thing that prevents more players from wearing facial protection is the perception that they won't be able to see the play as well. Actually, it's that belief that prevents him from wearing one.

"I choose not to wear a cage for performance reasons. For me, I'm not comfortable in one.

"It's tough to go back to a cage if you haven't been wearing one for a while, or if you have never worn one."

Therien said an improvement in the quality of visors is a key to increasing the amount of players who use them. However, he suggests that there are some people that will never be convinced of the necessity of face shields.

"There are dinosaurs -- you will never change that. Actually, if you look at the reasons why most older guys put a mask on it has nothing to do with a concern for their own safety.

"It was because of their wife."

Although no one wants to see a player get hurt, advocates for face protection will take advantage of an injury like Koivu's.

"What happened is unfortunate, but if it takes something like what happened to Koivu to get the message out there then we will take advantage of it," Peski said.

"We wouldn't go out and play without a helmet anymore. So why not protect our face as well?"

 

Thanks.

I'll just comment on a couple things. Therien is French. Thus, the occasional awkward phrasing.

And the Williams's thing was changed by the copy editor. I wrote Williams' and have never figured out why he changed it...

 

Do you think a description of the incident would have worked better as the lead? Keeping in mind that, at the time, it was impossible not to have seen it on Canadian television.

Maybe something that spoke to that?

"It's almost impossible to turn on your television and not be faced with the gruesome image of Justin William' stick striking Saku Koivu's eye..."

 

Yes, minus the "your." I've never been a fan of second-person. That's just a personal preference.

"It's almost impossible to turn on a television and not see ..."