Congratulate me, I just survived my 25-year high school reunion

I went to my 20th, then my sister's 25th a couple of years ago (her husband wanted to bag it and I volunteered since I played baseball with some of theose in the class) and it's just like shotglass says, at least at my HS. I'm skipping every single reunion from now on (including this year's 25th) because I'm tired of seeing the same cliches. For those who have a better time, congrats, you're lucky.

Now on the flip side, I went to some law school reunion last Friday and it was fun to see people that I never met before.

 

I've been to every one. 35th is next, and if they have it, I'll go to that one, too. But I have my doubts.

I kind of blew it on the 30th, just esconced myself on a barstool and kind of let it come to me, which in retrospect made me seem aloof to some, I'm afraid.

I like 'em, although we're getting to where we're losing a couple of more people every time, which is a bit depressing.

 

I skipped my 5th, enjoyed my 10th and there wasn't a 15th. I'm looking forward to my 20th even though I was never really tight with any of my classmates as friends. But at my 10th, I had some really good conersations with people I didn't talk with much during high school. It was good to get to know them as adults while remembering them as teenagers.

I think I've aged fairly well and I like knowing I'm going to look a lot better than a lot of the guys I graduated with. And my wife will look a lot better than theirs, too.

/wallflower all grown up

 

I attended my 2nd, 5th, 10th and 20th. 2nd was just a kegger thrown by the class officers because we still had money in the "Class of 84" bank account. 5th was more like a kegger as well, we just dressed a little better.

10th was a full-blown reunion with a party one night and a dinner the next. 20th, which was last year was pretty much the same as the 10th except the first night was at a bar owned by one of my classmates.

I've only kept in touch with a few people from high school and they remain my some of my closest friends today even though we've all scattered around the country. That group usually finds a way to catch upu at Christmas or Thanksgiving or other times when we're back in town.

I've never looked at reunions as a drag. It's always interesting to see how people have, or haven't, changed over the years.

The other reason I like going is that a friend of mine (and one of the group of HS guys I keep in touch with) who graduated from a different high school than we did has an on-going streak of crashing our reunion dating back to the two-year one in 1986. There are classmates of mine who are completely convinced this guy went to school with us now. Watching him work the room is worth the price of admission.

 

I went to my 10th and 25th, which was a few years ago. Had a great time at the 10th, not quite as good at the 25th (which might've been because I was a little overserved).

The weirdest thing at the 25th was that one of the guys had been to prison, and another was a guard at another state prison. They were talking like they were old buds "Well, on D block in XXX prison, we did it this way," etc. Very odd.

The next weirdest thing was that some of my classmates were grandparents. Yikes.

 

I'm pretty sure that's what's going to happen to me during my 20th. Fame is a bitch.

Emcee: We present ... who is this, I don't recognize this dork in the never-been-laid yearbook photo? ... Bubbler?! For real? THAT Bubbler? You sure? ... OK ...

Ladies, you can be sure he never tasted, penetrated or even saw your privates, but he's had the last laugh! I know you all know this, but our man Bubbler (Beatlemania shrieks) ... quiet, quiet, let me finish ... was 2005 SportsJournalists.com Member of the Year! Since he's such a celeb, we talked him into doing a Q&A. So Straight Outta Lawrence North, let's give a big welcome to our Dopeman and biggest celebrity, Bubbler!

(Beatlemania screaming, Bubbler walks up to the podium to Fine Young Cannibals' She Drives Me Crazy)

Me: Thanks, nice NWA reference, don't recall too many of you whitebreads listening to it back in '89 though, ha ha, I kid ... I think. And She Drives Me Crazy, huh? Not a big fan of the song, but many females among you drove me crazy, and my left hand hates you for it!

(unidentified female voice, "You can put that hand wherever you want now, Bubbler! Woo! Check me out!)

Me: Yes. Well I suppose we should get to the questions. Fire away ...

Bubbler Homecoming Date: Bubbler, remember me? We haven't talked much lately, but I wanted to let you know how our date influenced my life. After Homecoming I was so confused by the many levels of intellect I was exposed during our rendevous and I turned to fundamental Christian beliefs. But I couldn't get you out of my mind, so I tracked you and enrolled at Ball State, I even lived in the women's apartment house next to your girlfriend's! I've been in and out of hospitals since, you're so cool.

Me: Yeah, well, there's some revisionist history going on here. As I recall, the date was so awesomely bad, capped by my falling backwards in my chair in the cafeteria while trying to impress you, that you turned to Jesus, to the point of wearing a T-shirt -- McJesus: Billions Saved, complete with yellow cross inspired by the Mickey D's logo --around school perpetually. Then you turned up at Ball State, apparently Bubbler-date detoxed via Jesus to the point of sanity, not realizing I was there. Sorry about the hospitals and all.

Bubbler Homecoming Date: (stunned silence) ... I love you Bubbler! We'll talk more, by the way, can you introduce me to BYH, spnited, or Pope Dirk Benedict?

Me: He's taken, he's old, he's ... gay? Ha ha! I kid the Pope, I'm tepidly confident he's heterosexual. Next?

Ex-Cheerleader Hottie: WOW! A real life SportsJournalists.commer! You didn't know this, but I was totally into you in high school. Anyway, have you met (gulp!) Moddy before? Oh my God! He is the shit! Please tell me you know him!

Me: Well it's a shame I never knew you were into me, because our only contact was some dude telling me we could see your hot pink panties from three lunch tables away. As for Moddy, yeah I know him, he's a good man. He's into ... buffalo wings and the Washington Nats. (muffled orgasmic sigh) Next?

Eric Montross: (decked out in a Get A Fucking Haircut T-shirt) What's up, Bubs? I was class of '90, but I fucking had to be here man. So what gets you more hook-ups, being a NBA player or SportsJournalists.com star?

Me: I wouldn't know, I'm happily married to Mrs. Bubbler. Besides, I'm not the prettiest SportsJournalists.commer in the bunch, (Beatlemania shrieks) no really, I have a straight-for-message board visage. But let's take some SportsJournalists.commer like, say, Whitlock -- national forum, plenty of travel -- versus a journeyman NBA player who couldn't shoot 40 percent from the line, but lasted forever because he was a 7-footer. I've got to give the edge to Whitlock there. He'll be working his corners well into his 70s.

Eric Montross: Damn Bubbler, you can be cruel sometimes. No way Whitlock gets more pussy than me. But that's what I love about ya! You pull no punches ...

Ex-Social Studies Paper Partner: (shoves way to microphone) Bubbler, I was in your corner when we did that paper on the significance of the Grenada invasion back in '87 and my loyalty has never wavered. What about these dudes you spar with on SJ? I can gather 20 people right now who will "deal" with them. Just say the word ...

Me: No, that won't be necessary. Boom, for example. I don't agree with his way of doing things sometimes and don't agree with some of his opinions, but at heart, we're the same, we're instigators. I say it on SJ all the time, it's just a message board. (stunned shrieks of incredulousness) Last question ...

Anonymous Hottie: There are 100 women here tonight who wouldn't give you the time of day 20 years ago who are ready to throw themselves at you because you're a SportsJournalists.com star. That must feel damn good!

Me: SportsJournalists.com rules! Ha, ha, ha! I'm kidding of course ... I think ... uh, yeah, Mrs. Bubbler is here and she's for me ... Mrs. Bubbler! Get away from Montross!

 

The following lyrics seemed to sum up some of what's being said here.

And my high school acquaintances were just as shallow (mostly in a comforting loveable way) at the 20-year reunion as they were on graduation day 1984.

"My Hometown" by Bowling For Soup.
This song goes out to my good friends,
Especially the ones I had before the Grammy nominations in 2003
And all the girls from back in high school,
Who actually spoke to me,
Even though I was a fat kid and a marching band geek.

I hope this song finds you well.
And I hope that you're doin’ fuckin’ swell.
I hope that you’re back up if you've ever been down.
And I hope that you got the fuck out of our hometown.

Here comes a shout out to the professor,
Who said "Son pick a path and stay the same, cause charisma is the key to opportunity"
And to all the clubs that let us play.
To our family and friends and the music stores,
For giving us gear when we couldn't pay.

I hope this song finds you well.
And I hope that you're doin’ fuckin’ swell.
I hope that you're back up if you've ever been down.
And I hope you got the fuck out of our hometown.

You know I can't count how many times I’ve heard people say (heard people say)
“Be proud of where you're from, you're gonna put us on the map”
But where the hell were you back in the day, (back in the day)
No one came to see us,
So we got the hell out of there.
So there you have it.
t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t

This song goes out to my big brother.
For putting up with me following you around.
And making me smile when things at home weren't great
And not getting pissed when I humped your girlfriend
For letting me take your car to the prom.
For beating up the guys that hung my bike in a tree
For hand-me-down down albums and guitars with no strings
For never beating the shit outta me

I hope this song finds you well.
And I hope that you're doin fuckin swell.
I hope that you're back up cause I know you've been down.
I just wish you'd get the fuck out of our hometown.
I hope you get the fuck out of our hometown.
I'm so glad I got the fuck out of our hometown.

You know what I’m talking about don’t ya?
Damn it!

 

I'm pretty sure that's what's going to happen to me during my 20th. Fame is a bitch.

Emcee: We present ... who is this, I don't recognize this dork in the never-been-laid yearbook photo? ... Bubbler?! For real? THAT Bubbler? You sure? ... OK ...

Ladies, you can be sure he never tasted, penetrated or even saw your privates, but he's had the last laugh! I know you all know this, but our man Bubbler (Beatlemania shrieks) ... quiet, quiet, let me finish ... was 2005 SportsJournalists.com Member of the Year! Since he's such a celeb, we talked him into doing a Q&A. So Straight Outta Lawrence North, let's give a big welcome to our Dopeman and biggest celebrity, Bubbler!

(Beatlemania screaming, Bubbler walks up to the podium to Fine Young Cannibals' She Drives Me Crazy)

Me: Thanks, nice NWA reference, don't recall too many of you whitebreads listening to it back in '89 though, ha ha, I kid ... I think. And She Drives Me Crazy, huh? Not a big fan of the song, but many females among you drove me crazy, and my left hand hates you for it!

(unidentified female voice, "You can put that hand wherever you want now, Bubbler! Woo! Check me out!)

Me: Yes. Well I suppose we should get to the questions. Fire away ...

Bubbler Homecoming Date: Bubbler, remember me? We haven't talked much lately, but I wanted to let you know how our date influenced my life. After Homecoming I was so confused by the many levels of intellect I was exposed during our rendevous and I turned to fundamental Christian beliefs. But I couldn't get you out of my mind, so I tracked you and enrolled at Ball State, I even lived in the women's apartment house next to your girlfriend's! I've been in and out of hospitals since, you're so cool.

Me: Yeah, well, there's some revisionist history going on here. As I recall, the date was so awesomely bad, capped by my falling backwards in my chair in the cafeteria while trying to impress you, that you turned to Jesus, to the point of wearing a T-shirt -- McJesus: Billions Saved, complete with yellow cross inspired by the Mickey D's logo --around school perpetually. Then you turned up at Ball State, apparently Bubbler-date detoxed via Jesus to the point of sanity, not realizing I was there. Sorry about the hospitals and all.

Bubbler Homecoming Date: (stunned silence) ... I love you Bubbler! We'll talk more, by the way, can you introduce me to BYH, spnited, or Pope Dirk Benedict?

Me: He's taken, he's old, he's ... gay? Ha ha! I kid the Pope, I'm tepidly confident he's heterosexual. Next?

Ex-Cheerleader Hottie: WOW! A real life SportsJournalists.commer! You didn't know this, but I was totally into you in high school. Anyway, have you met (gulp!) Moddy before? Oh my God! He is the shit! Please tell me you know him!

Me: Well it's a shame I never knew you were into me, because our only contact was some dude telling me we could see your hot pink panties from three lunch tables away. As for Moddy, yeah I know him, he's a good man. He's into ... buffalo wings and the Washington Nats. (muffled orgasmic sigh) Next?

Eric Montross: (decked out in a Get A Fucking Haircut T-shirt) What's up, Bubs? I was class of '90, but I fucking had to be here man. So what gets you more hook-ups, being a NBA player or SportsJournalists.com star?

Me: I wouldn't know, I'm happily married to Mrs. Bubbler. Besides, I'm not the prettiest SportsJournalists.commer in the bunch, (Beatlemania shrieks) no really, I have a straight-for-message board visage. But let's take some SportsJournalists.commer like, say, Whitlock -- national forum, plenty of travel -- versus a journeyman NBA player who couldn't shoot 40 percent from the line, but lasted forever because he was a 7-footer. I've got to give the edge to Whitlock there. He'll be working his corners well into his 70s.

Eric Montross: Damn Bubbler, you can be cruel sometimes. No way Whitlock gets more pussy than me. But that's what I love about ya! You pull no punches ...

Ex-Social Studies Paper Partner: (shoves way to microphone) Bubbler, I was in your corner when we did that paper on the significance of the Grenada invasion back in '87 and my loyalty has never wavered. What about these dudes you spar with on SJ? I can gather 20 people right now who will "deal" with them. Just say the word ...

Me: No, that won't be necessary. Boom, for example. I don't agree with his way of doing things sometimes and don't agree with some of his opinions, but at heart, we're the same, we're instigators. I say it on SJ all the time, it's just a message board. (stunned shrieks of incredulousness) Last question ...

Anonymous Hottie: There are 100 women here tonight who wouldn't give you the time of day 20 years ago who are ready to throw themselves at you because you're a SportsJournalists.com star. That must feel damn good!

Me: SportsJournalists.com rules! Ha, ha, ha! I'm kidding of course ... I think ... uh, yeah, Mrs. Bubbler is here and she's for me ... Mrs. Bubbler! Get away from Montross!
[/quote]

Gotta be top nominee for post of the year. And Bubbler, what kind of time you must have on your hands to compose this.

Unless, this was composed in pieces over the years with a "I'll show 'em, I'll show 'em all someday" atitude.

Then it's just sad and wierd.

 

Bubbler, you graduated with Todd Leary! Can I get your autograph?

 

I'm off today. Took me 30 minutes. And of course I'm sad and weird, among other things.

 

My 20th reunion is next year. Like Precious Roy, I have a dilemma. I went to a high school in Colorado my first two years and then finished at another high school in California when our family moved. I skipped the 10-year reunion and I am 50-50 on going to a 20th. I would, however, love to see about a 20-year reunion at the high school in Colorado because I had a lot of friends I'd like to see for the first time in 22 years. I've been in touch with very few of those I graduated with in California.

 

How do you all even go to reunions in this business?

Always in the fall. I'm always covering football. Many of y'all are, too.