Colorado school bans game of Tag

M-80s? Don't bring that weak shit in here. We played tackle football on glass-strewn gravel field littered with old syringes. And we used a stick of dynamite for a ball.

 

Now that would make a game of Calvinball that much more interesting.

 

A stick? Singular? Maybe if this was first-grade powder puff at Hope Heights School for Special Needs Children.

 

Oh yeah? We used to play soccer without shin guards!

 

Everyone knows Calvinball is double-touch football using a beachball. And out of bounds is the house, all the way to the line of bushes at the back of Mrs. Smith's back yard.

 

Yes, but if the ball goes into the mud pit of despair, it's tiger-proof unless Hobbes injects himself with seven dirty syringes.

 

I'm glad this thread went this direction

 

My cousin's kid nearly got expelled for snapping a girl's bra. He's 10 and just about the sweetest kid ever...

His parents had to go to a hearing where one of the teachers called what he did, "sexual assault"

Fortunately, he wasn't expelled...

 

We had Fight Club during recess... ;D

 

she was asking for it, dressing that way.

 

I'm not saying he was in the right, but c'mon... In my day we might have gotten detention... Hell, we might have just had to apologize...

 

All I know is that I would totally dominate Smear The Queer if I went back to the playground in today's climate. I'd be like Babe Ruth, no one could touch me in this era.

Kid: So how do you play this game, Bubbler? Are you sure we should say the word queer? My teacher says that's a hate crime.
Bubbler: I'm as sensitive as the next guy, Hoss, and you should love those of all of sexual orientations equally.
Kid: Ohhhkay?
Bubbler: Now that I got that out of the way, hate crime, shmate crime. It's a freaking game. It could be called Smear The Beer, Smear The Peer or Smear Norman Lear. It isn't about the name of the game, it's about the sacred trust that goes into it. So never mind all that. Lets have some harmless fun. Here ... just take the ball.
Kid: So what do I do with this ... [Jack Tatum, or NFL safety of choice-style decleater] ... OUCH! That's my fucking collar bone, asshole!
Bubbler: Do you understand now? I got the ball now you little motherfucker! What are you going to do to salvage some pride?
Kid: I'm going to smear you, queer!
Teacher: What's that you said? You're grounded from recess until you finish 90 hours of sensitivity training! Put your eyeball in the retina scan for hours upon hours of re-education right now, mister!

(Bubbler runs off, his work is done here. His mission? Spread the revival of Smear The Queer playground by playground, like a violent Johnny Appleseed.)