Cheer me up, please?

Two peanuts walked into the park. One was assaulted.

 

An idiot was taking sky-diving lessons. The instructor explained that it was time for his first jump, and all he had to do was jump from the plane, count to six, and pull the rip cord. A truck would be waiting for him in the field where he would land.

The man jumped from the plane when he was told to, and counted to six. When he pulled the rip cord, the parachute wouldn't open. He tried the reserve chute and that didn't open. Frustrated, he muttered to himself as he fell, "I'll bet the truck won't be waiting for me either."

 

even though we've had our ups-and-downs, ijag:

i have nothing but envy for you. you are among the most beloved people on SportsJournalists.com. that kind of unanimous adoration and respect is not easily attained on this board.

whatever has you down is no doubt a passing phase in what i am sure is a very fulfilling life.

and if it can make you smile even a little bit, mrs. shockey came home from a friend's house a while ago with littlest shockey (who just turned 14) and reports, "i'm told by all of the littlest shockey's friends and some of their moms that our supposedly quiet son is quite popular and out-going among his lady friends."

so see that? many years worth of the updates you love so much to come! ;D ;D ;D

 

Microsoft debuts its new spellcheck assistant ...

 

I wish it were a joke.

 

That is awesome.

 

geez, about 35 responses in 30 minutes. i rest my case. who else here could get such a response to an s.o.s. ??? ??? ???

 

that may be the funniest, cutest thing ever! ;D ;D ;D 8) 8) 8) ;D ;D ;D 8) 8) 8)

 

Oh, J_D, I only wish it were that easy.