Caution: Attention Whoring in Progress

I thought this was going to be about Mariotti.

Congrats on having lots of free time on your hands!

 

You have one post for every injury Roethlisberger has suffered and recovered from in time to play the following game.

Congrats!

 

I thought I was at an Iowa game.

 

The sad part is I don't. I just have an attention span shorter than my 6-year-old's and this is a great place to spend a few minutes before getting back to the stuff I'm supposed to be doing.

 

Amen!

 

20,000 posts? Dude, seriously, you're a fucking loser. Get a fucking life. Asshole. I hate you and everything in which you believe and all the teams and athletes for whom you root.

You're also a rank amateur. Fucking losers start threads for 20,000. Winners just go about their business upon hitting 47,000.

Congrats (I guess?) to the only person to ever get me banned!!! And also to someone decent enough to allow bygones to be bygones and to start anew. It's like some soap opera, in which the writers run out of storylines so they author a plot in which two sworn enemies forge a tentative alliance. Have enjoyed the rational discourse the last few months much more than the constant sniping that preceded it.

Goddamn allergies are making my eyes water here, so let me finish by declaring my fervent hope that the Steelers won't win another Super Bowl, the Pirates won't record another winning season, you won't win another fantasy championship and the SUPER DUPER AWESOME ECONOMIC SYSTEM in baseball won't change a bit over your next 20,000 posts! Asshole!

 

47,000 = SJ's The world's biggest looser!

 

But not quite twice the loser of you!

 

Asshole! Tell me to get a life. Getting a life takes effort, dammit!

To be fair, you are the only person to ever get me banned, too.

I have also enjoyed the civil discourse a heck of a lot more than the fighting that went before it.

As usual, you do not disappoint. If only your wife could say the same.

(running away)

 

That's why the Terrible Towel is next to the bed, sport.

Wait, what?

 

Ok, now I have to explain to Mrs. OOP what the heck I'm laughing at.

Mrs. OOP: What are you laughing at?

Me: You know that message board I like? SportsJournalists.com?

Mrs. OOP: (Rolls eyes. Already not listening to me)

Me: No, listen. I started a thread because I..um....have 20,000 posts now! There's only 17 of us that ...

Mrs. OOP: ....are big enough losers to have that many?

Me: Well, when you put it that way....anyway, there was this guy on there who really used to hate me.

Mrs. OOP: You made somebody hate you on a message board?

Me: Yeah. It was kinda ugly...anyway, we stopped being asses to one another a while ago. And he made a joke about keeping a Terrible Towel by his bed...

Mrs. OOP: I really need to stop letting (little OOP) sleep with one of those...

Me: But now I'm going to tell him that he messes with the Terrible Towel at his peril! I'm going to remind him how the Titans were cursed because they mistreated one last year and lost a bunch of games in a row until they apologized. Did you know the money from the Terrible Towels....

Mrs. OOP: Yes, yes...it goes to charity. You do realize I have no idea who the Titans are, I'm not laughing at any of this so far and I'm probably not going to find this story funny even when you finish it, right?

Me: So I should've just said it was an SportsJournalists.com thing so you could roll your eyes and go back to what you were doing?

Mrs. OOP: Yup

Me: Yes dear (kisses her cheek)

 

Hmm, I suddenly wonder if OOP and I share the same wife.