Cats manipulate humans, bear defecates in forest, Pope remains Catholic

Scientists have actually done a study that proves cats manipulate humans, specifically through purring when they want something rather than meowing. And we wonder why people don't trust scientists.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/8147566.stm

 

Stan is just upset that his secret is out.

 

Fucking cats.

 

So that's how they do it...

 

My minions clearly failed to dispose of these "scientists" before their research was published. I shall take care of them soon.

Stoopid hoomans.

 

I know your weakness ...



CATNIP!

While you're stoned to the Bejesus Belt on feline heroine, my dog Ziggy, who is dumb even by dog standards, will take you out with ease. All for the cost of two Beggin' Strips and a weathered tennis ball.

Cats talk big. Put a dog in the room and they piss themselves. Another reason why cats gulp monster balls.

 

;D

 

Suck my nonexistent furry balls, hooman!

I laugh at dogs. Even while stoned, I can knock a fur mouse down his throat, cutting off his airway and forcing his pathetic panting ass to pass out.

Cats rule, dogs drool!!!!!!!!!

 

Stupid hoomanz, I haz girlfriend.

<--------

She's hotter than your girlfriend too.

 

You can't do any of that whilst cowered under a love seat. Cats rule the undercarriage of furniture when a dog strolls in.

 

I don't hide from dogs. Dogs cower before me! I am the king of all things!!!!!!

 

There is proof positive here that jobs are out there....and research funding should be scrutinized by Congress. I'll wait for that and the return of the dinosaur.