Caption Time - a 2fer

Choose your favorite and have at it, libs and conservatives alike:

 

Not a caption, but holy fuck. Is that Sharon Stone's mother?

 

I'm not a fan of plastic surgery or stuff like that, but shoot some Botox or Collagen in those cheeks, Sharon.

 

The rabbit has aged better than Sharon.

 

Is that a wig? It looks like straw.

 

Lionel Richie and Sharon Stone use their fingers to request the number of football fields paparazzi should stay away while photographing their faces.

 

Lionel Richie and Sharon Stone use their fingers to guess how many men in the world still want to have a look at Stone's vagina after seeing how wrinkled her face has become.

 

Say you, Say me: Getting in Sharon Stone's panties used to be Easy Like Sunday Morning, but thanks to 20 botox treatments, it reportedly takes Lionel Ritchie, Stone's rumored beau, All Night Long to even get aroused. Despite the fact that he no longer has her Dancing On The Ceiling with passion, people close to the couple say she trusts her Basic Instincts and remains his Lady, and he's her knight in shining armor.

Ok, that was written in the voice of the Entertainment Tonight teleprompter. I apologize profusely.

 

Hello? It that really yoooou Sharon Stone?

 

If she made a plaster cast of Lionel, would it look like this?

 

Lionel Ritchie and "Scary" Sharon Stone are ordering Nicole Ritchie the No. 1 AND the No. 2 combo meal as part of a charity that helps feed the children.

 

Unable to speak because plastic surgery has hardened their faces into perpetual smiles, Lionel Richie and Sharon Stone ask for a bathroom break in sign language.