"But" writing

I have the same problem, except with the word "Fuck."

I work for Hustler.

 

I had just been thinking I'd fallen into the same trap.

I was reading this while at a game, and then I went back and looked at my running story and realized I had done a "but" lead!!!

So I changed it.

SportsJournalists.com ... fixing the world ... one running story at a time.

 

Hah, I loved that line. Not bad for 25 seconds.

 

John Thompson likes his cheese.
Cheddar, mozzarella, munster. All kinds. Swiss, even.
He eats it three times a day, sometimes more. It dominates his diet the way garlic dominates breath.
Today, he is eating an orange.
Today, he discovered he is lactose intolerant
"I always thought I was above it," said Thompson, peeling away the rind like layers of string cheese — some habits are hard to break. "And then I'd get .violent stomach aches and my wife would complain about the smell of, um, well..."
He trails off, as his wife chimes in.
"You haven't experienced hell until you've had one of John's dutch ovens," Therese Thompson said, grimacing, scrunching her nose — some habits are hard to break.
John's situation is a dire one.
As one of the primary testers of taste for Velveeta, Thompson literally made a life out of cheese.
He's been working at the Velveeta plant for 18 years, first as a kneeder, then as a sniffer, now as a taster.
"I have no idea about my next step," said Thompson, who named his children Gargonzola and Jack. "I thought I could retire on cheese. Now my stomach is not only robbing me of my favorite food, but my livelihood."

 

Awesome. I'm hooked.

 

This is fantastic.

However, John Thompson is the former coach of the Georgetown University Hoyas, not a Velveeta employee. Correction, please.

 

If any of you ever want to switch over to marketing and communications, know this: 'but' is a negative word and does not belong in 'sell' copy.

Of course, so is the word 'not.'

Dammit, this shit isn't easy sometimes.

 

try dealing with copy when the writer starts sentences galore with "and" ...

 

Reminds me of the drive-thru chick in Dude, Where's My Car.

And then? And then? And then?

NO AND THEN!

 

try dealing with copy when the writer starts sentences galore with "and" ...

 

But you already said that.

 

man, this helio sucks.