Bush's farewell speech

This has got to be the stupidest column (and maybe the stupidest thing that's ever appeared in print anywhere) I've ever read. It's running in a lot of the small dailies around metro Atlanta. The scary thing is this guy is an attorney and he actually believes this crap. What is W's approval rating now? 24 percent? 30 percent? When it's 1 percent, this is the guy that will make up that 1 percent.

Bush's farewell speech

By James Studdard:

Sadie, one of my more informed readers, sent along an e-mail concerning Bush's resignation.

I don't know how she obtained this document, but hey, I owe it to my readers to share it with you. I have taken the liberty of paraphrasing and taking some literary license. Here then, is Bush's resignation speech:

"Fellow Americans, I don't know who you are anymore, and frankly, I don't care. Having said that, I will cut to the proverbial chase and simply and frustratingly, say, I quit. Let me assure you, though, I am not leaving because of any bouncy sexcapades, or other impeachable offenses. I am simply quitting.

"You people just don't get it. I'm fed up with you. Radical Islamofacists bombed us; Hugo Chavez and his American operatives hate us; Osama Bin Laden's henchmen beheaded honorable Americans and you just yawn and want everything to just go away, sort of like, go on now and leave us alone you nasty terrorists. You just don't get it.

"On the economy, you don't get it. Just because some liberal, talking head on the evening news tells you that our economy is in the tank, you believe it. Since 9/11, the stock market rebounded to record levels and remains there. Production of goods and services is up and unemployment is down. And you whine about the cost of gasoline.

"You do not understand supply and demand. You and your liberal dolts bray your mantra, 'blood for oil.' Look, you idiots, If it was a blood for oil thing, would I not have just ordered up a flat bed truck loaded with about 1,000 National Guard, and wiped the rag heads off the map?

"Also, if I were the liar that the Georgetown stiffs think I am, would I also not have just simply planted chemical weapons in Iraq and avoided admitting that I acted on faulty intelligence? Give me a break.

"Before I go, let me explain to you the difference in the two cold wars we were, and are engaged in. The Russkies were vanquished because we out spent them and technologically called their bluff. The Russkies wanted to survive. They knew that getting nuked was not Sunday school. What you jerks don't understand or appreciate is that the war with the terrorists is a whole new ball game. They die for virgins.

"They want to die, but in their passing, they want to take as many of you with them as possible. You should be grateful that more attacks like 9/11 haven't occurred, but you're not. Why? Because you have no idea of the effort that is put forth by military, law enforcement and Homeland Security to ensure your safety. Shame on you.

"You've grown impatient, incapable of seeing the big picture the way our enemies see it. Wars go on and on. They are not just a sound bite on the evening news. To make matters worse, you buy into hogwash coming from the Left, which emboldens the enemy. Every time you buy a New York Times, or send a donation to a cut-and-run liberal politician, you might as well UPS a shoulder launch weapon to a radical Jihadist.

"Think for yourselves. If you see a storm coming, get in your car or boat and leave. Don't call the government hot line. Your life is not my fault; it's yours. Money, by the way should originate in your wallet, not in some vault in the white house. And don't call me, I'll call you.

"So, folks, I'm gone, adios, sayonara, goodbye. I'm going back to Texas and live in my energy efficient house, even Al Gore would be proud of. Speaking of Al Gore. Ya'll ever notice that anybody who wins the Nobel Peace Prize is a pin head pinko professor or a sworn enemy of the American way. Think about it. Name me one conservative scientist, writer, artist -- oh, hell, forget it.

"Yep, I'm going back to Crawford, and sanity. Maybe I'll die of old age before the liberals give the country away. Oh, and Dick is quitting, too. And guess what that means? It means that Nancy Pelosi will be your President. Oooooooh! Aaaaaah!

"Well, so long folks and God bless what is left of America. Some of you know what I mean. The rest of you can kiss off."

I can't speak for you, but as for me, I'm gonna miss him.

James Studdard is an attorney from Fayetteville, GA.

 

Shouldn't it all be in the blue font?


"Rag heads" was a nice touch

 

Why would any newspaper print that drivel?

 

Hey, give the guy credit for being able to string together all the bright, shiny talking points.

 

You know you're reading the real deal when "Radical Islamofacists" is right up there front and centre.

 

My 75-year-old aunt forwarded that to me - or something very like it - months ago. So the newspaper prints internet perennials now?

 

Clearly a bigot and a moron.

 

Who? Bush, who supposedly forwarded his upcoming resignation letter to "Sadie," or the moron attorney who thought it was such a clever letter that he'd print it in his column?

 

Both.

 

I just checked to see if this thing is up on Snopes.com. I couldn't find it, but I'm telling you, this is one of those authorless chain emails with a waving flag .gif attached that gets worked and reworked as it passes from one frightened old Republican aunt to the next. And it's in the paper?

 

Geez. I was assuming that he was making up the Sadie part and had concocted the whole thing.

If he basically printed a email chain letter, double uggh.

 

God, that's a bunch of repugnant drivel. The fact that it was printed is an embarassment.